Last Sunday, the 29th, I laid down in the afternoon to take a nap. When I woke up, my back was out. This hasn't happened since April. So I got the heating pad out and put it in my chair. I took Alieve and it didn't touch it. Monday came around and it was just as bad. I made an appointment to see my Dr. I went and she didn't do much. Told me to keep taking the pain meds I've been on for a year (that doesn't do anything for the back pain). I went home defeated. Tuesday rolled around and I had to be at the Jungle Gym by 8:30. I did NOT want to go and let my boss/friend know I wouldn't be 100% due to my back issues. I was in SO much pain Tuesday morning and I begged for 1:00 to come. Finally it did and I went home to my chair. I made an appointment to go see my Chiro and he helped a little bit. At least my tilted pelvis was back in place. Then home to get back on the heat.
Wednesday morning I woke up with even worse pain. I went back to my Dr. and this time, he pressed three times on my back, told me it was the weather and a strain and sent me off with a prescription for Percocet. That's what was given to me in April. The time in April, it lasted a few days and I was back to normal. But this time has been MUCH different; my spine is greatly involved. He told me that he looked at the x-rays that were taken in April and he saw the start of arthritis and that my back pain could be from the weather changing to cold. I highly doubted it. I just saw it as an excuse so nothing else could be done. I want an MRI, but my Dr has no intention of having me get one.
As the week progressed, my back didn't get any better. My attitude about the whole thing was growing very dim as well. I could feel the depression coming back. Not as strong as before because my life, in a whole, has gotten a LOT better. But I felt the new joy and happiness that has filled my heart, slowly growing sad. And the number one reason was: I couldn't go to the gym. That has been killing me EVERY single day. I WANT TO BE BACK AT THE GYM!!!!!!!!!! Even if I just ride the bike, I will be back.
Times will come when obstacles get in your way of getting healthy and fit; just as you've seen with me. My advice to you is to not let it get you down. Take the precautions you need so you can heal and get back to the gym or however you work out. Start back slowly. My plan for when I head back to the gym this coming Monday is to ride the bike you sit in, not on...so there's no pressure on the back. I've also used the 10 lb weights I have here in my room. Just don't give up! Don't lose the truth that you're worth it. Set backs will come. That doesn't mean your self-worth is set back as well. No...that means you have to fight harder to keep it close and not lose it.
I wish I could write more, but my back is telling me to shut it down. Apparently the only chair my back likes is the one I should sleep in at night. I just have a hard time since Daisy, my dog, sleeps with me and I don't normally sleep on my back. Although today I took a three hour nap in my chair. Thanks to the Percocet!
So in closing....DON'T GIVE UP!!!!! Depression might come, but DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!! You got this and you WILL win!!! :)
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Determination and Worth
July 1st I decided my life was ready to start a new journey! A journey to find who I am under all this fat.
I won't lie and tell you it's easy. Heck no!! When you've been overweight all your life and all the sudden you decide to get up and go exercise...your body tries to tell you it didn't get the memo. I wasn't brutal to my body. I started slow. After a week or so of doing one thing, I would think of different things to do to target certain parts of my body. By the end of July I was going every morning for an hour. I made a CD of different songs that were fast tempo so it would push me to go faster. I knew I was building up muscle and I knew I was losing weight. I lost 15 lbs in July.
When August started, I was still swimming and still eating as I did in July. I knew it would be a bit more rough with camping coming up so I did all I could before we headed out. And again, I won't lie and tell you it was easy while camping. NO NO NO!!! I was faced with more temptations than ever before. Raspberry filled donuts, Old Fashioned Glazed donuts, mini candy bars sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME on the picnic table. My hands wanted to grab one SO badly. That's when I got up and went to get me a sugar free Jell-O pudding. Sixty calories instead of 40 calories in ONE mini candy bar.
From August to today, the 26th, I've lost another 15. Making the total 30 pounds lost.
Temptations will ALWAYS be around you. If they aren't, something isn't right! But if they are, you have what it takes to say NO! You have what it takes to say, "I'm worth getting healthy!" YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!! You can fight every single temptation and if they're getting to strong, walk away from it or...read the nutritional facts. That's what helped me get my pudding instead of the mini candy bar. Last night I went to Subway for dinner. While checking out, my mom looked at one of the gluten free brownies. I asked how many calories it had. I want to say 320. My jaw dropped...
Just remember...YOU are in control of what your body looks like! Hard to hear, but it's the truth and I face it every single day. I may be down 30 pounds, but I have MANY more to lose. Sometimes it's a very hard truth to accept, but I have no choice. I'm the one who has to see me, to dress myself, to shower....I see it, but I'm finding that I'm seeing the changes more than I'm seeing what I still have to lose. I think that's important to see your progress. Trust me...I feel a lot more changes than my body shows, but I'm feeling them.
Just like a baby learning to walk...they have to take the FIRST step. And before you know it, they're off and running with their new found freedom. That's how we need to look at the journey we're each on. I didn't just run to the pool and jump in. I took the first step outside of my house and proceeded to the pool. Walking into the gym...I opened the door and stepped in; my first step to working even harder to find Jen. Pound by pound she's being revealed!
I'm almost done with my 5th week at the gym. Let me tell you...there have been days I have wanted to stay covered up in my warm bed and just sleep. Just forget the world out there and let it go on without me for a day! The minute that thought comes to mind, it's shoved aside by the GET OUT OF BED NOW drill! I throw back the covers and get out of bed. Once my feet hit the floor, I don't get back into bed until my meds have taken over and it's time to sleep all night. I have taken a few naps though! I take Daisy outside and then I get my breakfast. I watch some TV or come onto Facebook while I eat. Once I'm done, I get dressed and gather my stuff that I take with me and head out. Once I get to the gym, I walk in like I belong there. Oh wait, I do! haha. I sign in, hang my keys up and get to work.
Realizing you're worth getting healthy...that can be a HUGE obstacle. It's been the biggest one I've had to overcome and it's working! It also helps that I have such a HUGE support team behind me who are SO encouraging, supportive, loving, and just freakin' awesome! It's important to have those kind of friends on your side. There have been some rough days and I wanted to fall down and quit. My friends have helped push me back up to remind me I'm WORTH it! If you don't have friends like that, PLEASE let me be that friend for you! I have wonderful friends who have taken that first step and are making a positive change in their lives to be healthy and fit. They text me, send me private messages on Facebook. They can even call me if they need to. I am NOT one to judge. How can I judge you when I'm walking in your shoes? That's impossible. At least for me. I'm here to help in ANY way I can.
Sometimes you just need that hand to hold to help you take your first step toward finding who you want to be! YOU CAN DO IT!!! And MOST importantly...YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!
I won't lie and tell you it's easy. Heck no!! When you've been overweight all your life and all the sudden you decide to get up and go exercise...your body tries to tell you it didn't get the memo. I wasn't brutal to my body. I started slow. After a week or so of doing one thing, I would think of different things to do to target certain parts of my body. By the end of July I was going every morning for an hour. I made a CD of different songs that were fast tempo so it would push me to go faster. I knew I was building up muscle and I knew I was losing weight. I lost 15 lbs in July.
When August started, I was still swimming and still eating as I did in July. I knew it would be a bit more rough with camping coming up so I did all I could before we headed out. And again, I won't lie and tell you it was easy while camping. NO NO NO!!! I was faced with more temptations than ever before. Raspberry filled donuts, Old Fashioned Glazed donuts, mini candy bars sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME on the picnic table. My hands wanted to grab one SO badly. That's when I got up and went to get me a sugar free Jell-O pudding. Sixty calories instead of 40 calories in ONE mini candy bar.
From August to today, the 26th, I've lost another 15. Making the total 30 pounds lost.
Temptations will ALWAYS be around you. If they aren't, something isn't right! But if they are, you have what it takes to say NO! You have what it takes to say, "I'm worth getting healthy!" YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!! You can fight every single temptation and if they're getting to strong, walk away from it or...read the nutritional facts. That's what helped me get my pudding instead of the mini candy bar. Last night I went to Subway for dinner. While checking out, my mom looked at one of the gluten free brownies. I asked how many calories it had. I want to say 320. My jaw dropped...
Just remember...YOU are in control of what your body looks like! Hard to hear, but it's the truth and I face it every single day. I may be down 30 pounds, but I have MANY more to lose. Sometimes it's a very hard truth to accept, but I have no choice. I'm the one who has to see me, to dress myself, to shower....I see it, but I'm finding that I'm seeing the changes more than I'm seeing what I still have to lose. I think that's important to see your progress. Trust me...I feel a lot more changes than my body shows, but I'm feeling them.
Just like a baby learning to walk...they have to take the FIRST step. And before you know it, they're off and running with their new found freedom. That's how we need to look at the journey we're each on. I didn't just run to the pool and jump in. I took the first step outside of my house and proceeded to the pool. Walking into the gym...I opened the door and stepped in; my first step to working even harder to find Jen. Pound by pound she's being revealed!
I'm almost done with my 5th week at the gym. Let me tell you...there have been days I have wanted to stay covered up in my warm bed and just sleep. Just forget the world out there and let it go on without me for a day! The minute that thought comes to mind, it's shoved aside by the GET OUT OF BED NOW drill! I throw back the covers and get out of bed. Once my feet hit the floor, I don't get back into bed until my meds have taken over and it's time to sleep all night. I have taken a few naps though! I take Daisy outside and then I get my breakfast. I watch some TV or come onto Facebook while I eat. Once I'm done, I get dressed and gather my stuff that I take with me and head out. Once I get to the gym, I walk in like I belong there. Oh wait, I do! haha. I sign in, hang my keys up and get to work.
Realizing you're worth getting healthy...that can be a HUGE obstacle. It's been the biggest one I've had to overcome and it's working! It also helps that I have such a HUGE support team behind me who are SO encouraging, supportive, loving, and just freakin' awesome! It's important to have those kind of friends on your side. There have been some rough days and I wanted to fall down and quit. My friends have helped push me back up to remind me I'm WORTH it! If you don't have friends like that, PLEASE let me be that friend for you! I have wonderful friends who have taken that first step and are making a positive change in their lives to be healthy and fit. They text me, send me private messages on Facebook. They can even call me if they need to. I am NOT one to judge. How can I judge you when I'm walking in your shoes? That's impossible. At least for me. I'm here to help in ANY way I can.
Sometimes you just need that hand to hold to help you take your first step toward finding who you want to be! YOU CAN DO IT!!! And MOST importantly...YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Not Likely
A few minutes ago I was reading another blog and it was about weight loss and healthy eating. I would click on the recipes to see what made them healthy and the thought hit me that ya know what? There is a VERY high chance I will NEVER eat like that. And to me, that's okay. Am I adding things to my diet, I am doing my best. I eat MORE than I EVER have now, most days. We won't talk about yesterday! lol But really...I don't see me changing every single thing that I eat. I've added in more sources of protein. The shake I have once a day is....good. It's not great, it's not a yummy chocolate shake from McDonald's, but I drink it and I don't waste time. I know what the protein in the shake is going to do and THAT is what makes me grin and bear it. We have some protein bars and I've learned that it's not a tear a piece at a time and eat it slow. Nope. It's a take a bite, chew it, take a drink of water! They aren't HORRIBLE. You can't have the idea that "Oh it's just like a snickers! Surely it's YUMMY!!!" Nothin like a Snickers! It may be peanut butter and chocolate...yeah it's not anything like a Reese's either. Nope! NOTHIN like it! If a Reese's peanut butter cup and a protein bar were laid in front of me...I'd take the protein bar as hard as that would be. So I know, I'm making HUGE changes in my life and I am LOVING it, but I won't deny myself the pleasure of something that I would like to have. The last few days I have been craving a COOKIE, but it never happened and I'm okay with that. I think I'm doing well.
I'm the only obese person at the gym that I've seen. Everyone else there is fit and thin or have 30, 40 lbs to lose. Do I hide when I go in there? No. I walk up the stairs and if people are in the room where I ride the bike, I smile at them and get on the bike and ride. A year ago, well, a year ago I wouldn't have even walked INTO a gym, so just the fact that I do THAT is a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE break through. I go get on my bike and I start riding. The other day when I got there, I walked a different way to the stairs and I passed a guy who is there often when I am and he said Hi. I replied the same and asked how he was doing. He said he'd let me know. I laughed and told him okay! I never heard, but he did fine! There are two ladies who I've met and we often chat for a minute or three when we're working out! We encourage each other and it's just a great and friendly environment. I enjoy going very much!
Last night I didn't go until about 9:30. I got to working out and rode two miles on the bike going about 17 mph. I was beginning to think I needed my inhaler, but I kept breathing and made sure I could get that deep breath every now and then. After that I proceeded downstairs and worked my arms off. Not so much my butt, just my arms! I got home a little after 11 and soon after went to bed.
I was asked how I motivate myself. I had to think about it for a minute, but to be honest, some days it is Just. Plain. Hard. There have been times when I wake up and all I want to do is stay in my warm bed with my Daisy dog and relax; watch some TV. But then my head clicks on and I think, I need to get up and eat so I can go to the gym. I need to eat an hour before I go. So I get up and get started on my day. Usually by 10 o'clock I'm heading out to the gym. I told my friend last night, "If I didn't see such awesome results from coming here to the gym, I don't think I'd come. This is the hardest thing I have EVER done to myself physically." It's even harder than the self-defense I took; Krav Maga. If you know what that is, and you've seen it or done it, you know that it kicks your BUTT!!! I think the difference is, I went to Krav to not get a workout, I went to learn to protect myself. With going to the gym, I'm doing this because it's healthy and it's what I need and I see EVERY SINGLE DAY how it's changing my life and body. My lower back has been giving me some issues and while standing, I put my arms behind my back and I have ZERO PROBLEMS reaching back and putting my thumbs together at my spine. AMAZING!!!!!!!!! Friday at my mom's work, I was waiting for her to get off the phone and I put my fists on my waist. I stopped and thought Wait a minute. That isn't squishy like it used to be. There's less fat there now!! It lifted my down mood quite nicely! I was beyond thrilled!
So it may not be likely that I'll change my eating habits to PERFECT EATING, but it's VERY likely that I'll change my body to how it needs to be...fit and healthy! So if you're starting to change your diet and you feel torn...I've cut out a lot of stuff from my diet. Did I stop eating out? Nope. I used to drink Pepsi, Dr. Pepper...I stopped that and now, maybe once a day, I have a Diet Dr. Pepper. It's a nice treat and I don't allow my water intake to stop when I have one. When I need a chocolate fix, I eat a few chocolate chips. Are you asking how I can just eat a few?! It's because I put a few in my hand and put the bag back in the fridge and walk away. If you need to, go brush your teeth. That SHOULD stop you. I have friends who are emotional eaters and a lot of people are shocked when I tell them I'm not. I'm sure they're thinking Um...you're obese and you don't eat all the time? Here's some news for you...NOT eating doesn't make you lose weight and if it does, what's going to happen when you start eating again like you used to? Yep...nothing good. And you know what a HUGE change can be too? Portion control. Do you NEED seconds of spaghetti? Do you NEED a package of cookies instead of just one or two? Do you NEED a HUGE bowl of ice cream? You have to train your brain to know one is just enough. Because if you have that bag of chips on your lap while you're watching a movie or TV, or a jar of peanuts, or a bag of M&M's...by the end of the movie, how much do you think will be left in the bag? And if it's at night...where are all those calories you just unbeknownst to you put in your body, going to go when you crawl into bed and go to sleep? Everywhere you do not want them!! And then you'll have to go to the gym or take a long walk to work it off.
I'll leave you with a bit of knowledge I learned from my trainer...for a person who doesn't exercise and just goes about their day as usual, THAT person needs EIGHT glasses of WATER a day. If you're a person who DOES exercise on a daily basis, you need WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more then eight glasses of water. Even the one who doesn't exercise daily...they should be drinking way more than eight glasses as well. So don't lack on water. If you read this and go "How much is enough then?" A gallon. Go for a gallon and you'll be just fine. "But I'll be in the bathroom ALL DAY!" Perhaps, but you'll also be flushing out toxins from your body. Good trade dontcha think? :)
I'm the only obese person at the gym that I've seen. Everyone else there is fit and thin or have 30, 40 lbs to lose. Do I hide when I go in there? No. I walk up the stairs and if people are in the room where I ride the bike, I smile at them and get on the bike and ride. A year ago, well, a year ago I wouldn't have even walked INTO a gym, so just the fact that I do THAT is a HUUUUUUUUUUUGE break through. I go get on my bike and I start riding. The other day when I got there, I walked a different way to the stairs and I passed a guy who is there often when I am and he said Hi. I replied the same and asked how he was doing. He said he'd let me know. I laughed and told him okay! I never heard, but he did fine! There are two ladies who I've met and we often chat for a minute or three when we're working out! We encourage each other and it's just a great and friendly environment. I enjoy going very much!
Last night I didn't go until about 9:30. I got to working out and rode two miles on the bike going about 17 mph. I was beginning to think I needed my inhaler, but I kept breathing and made sure I could get that deep breath every now and then. After that I proceeded downstairs and worked my arms off. Not so much my butt, just my arms! I got home a little after 11 and soon after went to bed.
I was asked how I motivate myself. I had to think about it for a minute, but to be honest, some days it is Just. Plain. Hard. There have been times when I wake up and all I want to do is stay in my warm bed with my Daisy dog and relax; watch some TV. But then my head clicks on and I think, I need to get up and eat so I can go to the gym. I need to eat an hour before I go. So I get up and get started on my day. Usually by 10 o'clock I'm heading out to the gym. I told my friend last night, "If I didn't see such awesome results from coming here to the gym, I don't think I'd come. This is the hardest thing I have EVER done to myself physically." It's even harder than the self-defense I took; Krav Maga. If you know what that is, and you've seen it or done it, you know that it kicks your BUTT!!! I think the difference is, I went to Krav to not get a workout, I went to learn to protect myself. With going to the gym, I'm doing this because it's healthy and it's what I need and I see EVERY SINGLE DAY how it's changing my life and body. My lower back has been giving me some issues and while standing, I put my arms behind my back and I have ZERO PROBLEMS reaching back and putting my thumbs together at my spine. AMAZING!!!!!!!!! Friday at my mom's work, I was waiting for her to get off the phone and I put my fists on my waist. I stopped and thought Wait a minute. That isn't squishy like it used to be. There's less fat there now!! It lifted my down mood quite nicely! I was beyond thrilled!
So it may not be likely that I'll change my eating habits to PERFECT EATING, but it's VERY likely that I'll change my body to how it needs to be...fit and healthy! So if you're starting to change your diet and you feel torn...I've cut out a lot of stuff from my diet. Did I stop eating out? Nope. I used to drink Pepsi, Dr. Pepper...I stopped that and now, maybe once a day, I have a Diet Dr. Pepper. It's a nice treat and I don't allow my water intake to stop when I have one. When I need a chocolate fix, I eat a few chocolate chips. Are you asking how I can just eat a few?! It's because I put a few in my hand and put the bag back in the fridge and walk away. If you need to, go brush your teeth. That SHOULD stop you. I have friends who are emotional eaters and a lot of people are shocked when I tell them I'm not. I'm sure they're thinking Um...you're obese and you don't eat all the time? Here's some news for you...NOT eating doesn't make you lose weight and if it does, what's going to happen when you start eating again like you used to? Yep...nothing good. And you know what a HUGE change can be too? Portion control. Do you NEED seconds of spaghetti? Do you NEED a package of cookies instead of just one or two? Do you NEED a HUGE bowl of ice cream? You have to train your brain to know one is just enough. Because if you have that bag of chips on your lap while you're watching a movie or TV, or a jar of peanuts, or a bag of M&M's...by the end of the movie, how much do you think will be left in the bag? And if it's at night...where are all those calories you just unbeknownst to you put in your body, going to go when you crawl into bed and go to sleep? Everywhere you do not want them!! And then you'll have to go to the gym or take a long walk to work it off.
I'll leave you with a bit of knowledge I learned from my trainer...for a person who doesn't exercise and just goes about their day as usual, THAT person needs EIGHT glasses of WATER a day. If you're a person who DOES exercise on a daily basis, you need WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more then eight glasses of water. Even the one who doesn't exercise daily...they should be drinking way more than eight glasses as well. So don't lack on water. If you read this and go "How much is enough then?" A gallon. Go for a gallon and you'll be just fine. "But I'll be in the bathroom ALL DAY!" Perhaps, but you'll also be flushing out toxins from your body. Good trade dontcha think? :)
Sunday, September 15, 2013
A Little Bit of This...and of That!
This is me when I was 15 years old. I actually wasn't thin at this time in my life, but this photo was taken at such an angle to make me look as if I am. This is the ONLY photo I have that I can refer back to "I used to be this size." I guess I'm at the point that any size lower than the one I'm at now would be great! For the most part, I've dropped a size. I've always worn bigger clothes to hide. I'm finding I'm moving past that a little at a time. This morning, when I was getting ready for church, I walked into my room after my shower and said to myself, "Now what to wear?" I moved some shirts in the closet and saw a blue one I wore seven years ago (not eight as my FB status said...oops) when I worked for Lifetouch Preschool Portraits. After leaving that job in 2006, I moved these clothes to the back of the closet. I figured I'd never wear them again, but hope was always in the back of my mind. So I put on one of my new smaller tops and the blue button up from 2006. I slid it on and went, "Wow!!" I was beyond thrilled! I wore my black slakes and my boots. I wore blue and silver earrings and my blue bracelet my cousin made me. The button up didn't even come close to closing at the bottom of it, but I didn't get down on myself or discouraged. I was happy!
Yesterday was the end of my third week of going to the gym full time! I remember thinking on Monday, "another week for the gym" and before I knew it, it was Friday. Amazing how fast the week flies by! It helps that I have something to do every day. The bad part of the week was after Tuesday when I did some punching for extra cardio. The days following that, my right wrist was experiencing a LOT of pain; to the point I couldn't put any weight on it with palm down. I did my best to live with it and continued to work out with my arms one day, legs the next. Friday evening, I went to the gym later in the evening and when I went to the bicep curls, I curled the right arm and had shooting pain from my wrist to my elbow. I clenched my jaw and kept going. I'm not a quitter. The other thing that is really giving me issues is my knees. I've lost a total of 208 lbs off of my knees and I know they're very thankful for that, but I'm also very aware that there is still a LOT of weight to be taken off. Because of this, and because of the leg exercises I do and the walking, whenever I climb stairs or descend stairs, my knees get a sharp stabbing pain with each step taken. I have heard this isn't good. I've heard I need to get both my knees and wrist looked at. This is where I feel torn. Do I go to my Dr., who more than likely won't do much other than feel it and make it hurt and give me meds that I'm probably already taking? Do I go to my Chiropractor to have him feel it, make it hurt and move it to ease the pain and not be able to use it for a while, which means arm day will be cut? Or do I just deal with the pain and ice it on my own and keep up on the Naproxen?
Tonight I had my mom watch the Extreme Weight Loss season finale I recorded. I haven't deleted it yet and there's a very good chance I won't, because when I start feeling down or discouraged, it's Bob's story that encourages me the most. He said five words that slammed into my head and heart when I heard him say it. "I won't let obesity win!" And I've made that same commitment. I don't have Chris Powell to help me in person, but I have my trainer and I have Team Jen; which includes my Dr. and Chiropractor, and I know I can do this. Terry asked me tonight what I want with losing weight. I told him I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, I want to shop for cute clothes in normal stores, I want to be able to do things I've never been able to do because of my weight and fears. I've been overweight for the majority of my life. For what life I have left, I want to be happy. I want to pay this forward as well. I want to help people, inspire people, motivate people. I have a few friends who have joined a gym or started back at exercise/hiking because of my positive statuses on Facebook and here in my blog. My Aunt and Uncle just joined a gym and she wants me to come be her guest so I can show her what to do on the machines for her arms. My knowledge of that has come from my trainer. I'm excited to go with her and help her so she can get the best out of her time at the gym. By no means am I trainer, but if I'm able to help someone get started and stay motivated, I'm all for it! Every day I'm at the gym, I sit at a few machines that face mirrors, which I hate, but I'm getting use to, and sometimes I'm able to look at myself when I'm done w/ a machine, or resting between sets. Sometimes I get that negative look as I look over my body. And other times I see the fighter I am. I look at myself and I dare myself to change. I get back on the machine and punch out my next set. I am NOT a quitter and I WILL reach my goals.
If you find my blog and you've been wanting to lose weight, even just 10 lbs or 100 lbs, realize that NO ONE but YOU can make that happen. No one is going to hold your hand and spoon feed you. You need to be serious about it and take the bull by the horns and make it mind. You have the power to be who you want to be. Your life is a book...make it a best seller and always remember...
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Stone Work
Have you ever had one of those times when something is said and you instantly begin to think about it and give it life? I had one of those moments today. Very intriguing.
Because I have never been at a healthy weight, I have nothing to look back on to say, "I used to be this size, I can work toward that." Instead I get the, "Hmmm I don't know what I'm going to look like." Sometimes it's hard to have goals when you're missing that part of the puzzle. Well, today I was talking with a friend and she told me that a sculptor was once asked, "How did you know to carve David like that?"
His simple reply was, "I carved away everything that wasn't David."
Ever since starting on this new journey of getting healthy, I have wondered, who I am going to be when I've reached my goal. I have a number in mind, thinking and hoping I can reach it. Today while at the gym, I did a lot of thinking between sets. Around me were fit people, not overweight as myself, and I sat there thinking, "Will I ever look like that? Am I working hard enough? Am I here enough?" And as quickly as the thought came, it was replaced with, "I'm doing the best I can. I'm here an hour and a half to two hours a day." I refuse to kill myself in the gym, to work so hard I can't breathe or injure myself and be unable to work out for who knows how long." I love going to the gym. I was told today I'm the captain of my own ship. I can add in any machines I want into my workout. It's not that I've had a huge desire to do one more than the other, I was just wondering when I'd be able to add in more. Knowing I'm the Skipper of my ship, that's helpful.
Last week when I was going through a rough time, the picture I had in my head consisted of a road, me standing in the middle of it and all of you, Team Jen, standing close behind. You weren't cheering me on, you weren't encouraging me, and that's okay. It was a crucial time...it was now or never. Ahead of me in the picture stood nothing but myself and time. There was no mountain I had to climb, no shaky bridge I had to cross, it was just myself, standing there, keeping me from moving forward. I broke through that with the help from a couple of very helpful friends. And now, the picture I see in my head is of this same road, me standing there, Team Jen close behind, and a large stone in front of me. It's not one that I have to find a way around or over, it's one that I will create who I am going to be while chiseling away the old me. Every day I work out at the gym, every smart move I make with eating; that is what creates the new and chisels away the old. This journey is long, emotional, encouraging, disappointing...but also it's fun. I'm doing something good for ME for once. Learning you're worth getting healthy and being happy...it's a humbling experience.
While going through quotes tonight, I found this one and it couldn't come at a better time. Before I post it, I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You, to each one who reads my blogs, who encourages me, who support me, who love me, who care about me, who wants the best for me...you all mean the world to me and I am forever grateful to have you in my heart and life. Thank you for being you!
Because I have never been at a healthy weight, I have nothing to look back on to say, "I used to be this size, I can work toward that." Instead I get the, "Hmmm I don't know what I'm going to look like." Sometimes it's hard to have goals when you're missing that part of the puzzle. Well, today I was talking with a friend and she told me that a sculptor was once asked, "How did you know to carve David like that?"
His simple reply was, "I carved away everything that wasn't David."
Ever since starting on this new journey of getting healthy, I have wondered, who I am going to be when I've reached my goal. I have a number in mind, thinking and hoping I can reach it. Today while at the gym, I did a lot of thinking between sets. Around me were fit people, not overweight as myself, and I sat there thinking, "Will I ever look like that? Am I working hard enough? Am I here enough?" And as quickly as the thought came, it was replaced with, "I'm doing the best I can. I'm here an hour and a half to two hours a day." I refuse to kill myself in the gym, to work so hard I can't breathe or injure myself and be unable to work out for who knows how long." I love going to the gym. I was told today I'm the captain of my own ship. I can add in any machines I want into my workout. It's not that I've had a huge desire to do one more than the other, I was just wondering when I'd be able to add in more. Knowing I'm the Skipper of my ship, that's helpful.
Last week when I was going through a rough time, the picture I had in my head consisted of a road, me standing in the middle of it and all of you, Team Jen, standing close behind. You weren't cheering me on, you weren't encouraging me, and that's okay. It was a crucial time...it was now or never. Ahead of me in the picture stood nothing but myself and time. There was no mountain I had to climb, no shaky bridge I had to cross, it was just myself, standing there, keeping me from moving forward. I broke through that with the help from a couple of very helpful friends. And now, the picture I see in my head is of this same road, me standing there, Team Jen close behind, and a large stone in front of me. It's not one that I have to find a way around or over, it's one that I will create who I am going to be while chiseling away the old me. Every day I work out at the gym, every smart move I make with eating; that is what creates the new and chisels away the old. This journey is long, emotional, encouraging, disappointing...but also it's fun. I'm doing something good for ME for once. Learning you're worth getting healthy and being happy...it's a humbling experience.
While going through quotes tonight, I found this one and it couldn't come at a better time. Before I post it, I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You, to each one who reads my blogs, who encourages me, who support me, who love me, who care about me, who wants the best for me...you all mean the world to me and I am forever grateful to have you in my heart and life. Thank you for being you!
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Expectation and Questions
The following has been on my mind since starting my new program a week ago.
Prior to starting my new routine, I felt great about my workout. I knew what to do once I walked through the door. I felt many changes take place that week and in the end, I lost six pounds. This last Monday, I started the new routine and it's a lot more intense. That's not a bad thing. It's just made me question myself a bit more and that's not always a good thing. That's when my mind tries to talk myself out of doing what is good for me. So maybe you can help me out too. :)
I mentioned earlier, in a past blog, that gyms were NEVER my thing. And now that I'm a member of one, I can't imagine it NOT being my thing. I be sure and take Sundays off and even then I'm not liking it, but I know I need a day off.
Ever since Monday, when I had the asthma attack, it put a pretty big fear inside of me. I find that I'm not doing everything I've been suggested to do...the Helix machine, the spin bike...because after I do my cardio to start with and the liquid awesome has begun, I'm ready to go work on the machines and free weights. I work up quite the sweat and by the time I have to walk back up three flights of stairs, I want to sit down at the top. I don't of course, I make it to the bike, but today was leg day, and by the time I got upstairs after the workout, I sat down on another flight of stairs that are up there to get my breathing under control. I got up and went in to do the Helix machine. I'm not too proud to say I SUCK at that. I know I need to do more, but I'm able to do about 15 and my heart is racing. My legs want to collapse under me. I walk on the treadmill. I upped the incline today from 2.5 to 3.0 and I walked between 2.8 and 3.0. And then my stupid leg started to hurt. I went and rode a mile on the bike and called it a day. I rode two miles to start my warm up in 7:35 seconds!!!!!!!!! I beat my old time!!! That always makes me happy. Even if it's not a HUGE difference. Then I went downstairs and did my four machines. I upped the leg extension to 50 lbs and the standing curls to 50 lbs. The back extensions, I guess they are called, I upped it to 120 lbs. I can tell a difference in my back a lot since adding that one in and I do that each day I'm there.
Just to let you know too, I don't put all the weight and stuff in this to toot my own horn. I do it as remembrance for me so I can see how I go up with what I'm doing.
Today ends my second complete week at the gym. I always question myself about this.....am I doing too much weight? Am I right on with the weight? Am I failing myself because I'm freaked about having my heart explode? Am I expecting too much from myself from just being there TWO WEEKS...for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE? I know I'm not in shape, but I also know I'm getting there. Slowly. I feel a lot more than I see happening to my body. I was told today it was noticeable. I've been told it's really noticeable in my face. Which is awesome and it makes me so happy! Go back a few years and that would have FREAKED me out and I would have stopped and gained it all back. But now it makes me happy to see that I'm doing the right thing.
I have nothing to compare with what I'm doing. Karen asked me if I've ever been at the weight I was suppose to be. Nope. I've always been overweight that I can remember and I know why. It's getting worked on as well. So I have no idea what someone who has never stepped foot in a gym is suppose to do. I threw myself in with the help of my trainer and here I am. I guess I'm just scared that with what I'm not doing enough of, will get me in the end. Yes, I want my endurance up, I want to last longer on Cardio machines. I know it's gotten better in my everyday life. My mom and I went to Costco a few days ago and she commented on how much faster I walk now. And guess what? My leg didn't cramp. AND I WAS IN FLIP FLOPS!!!!!! Explain THAT one!!
I'm sorry if this post is all over the place. I guess my head is too on this subject. I guess I just don't want to fail and I feel I am with having this HUGE fear over my head and being too afraid to get my heart rate up to high speed chase numbers. I'm not sure how accurate the heart rate thing is when I ride the bike, but today it showed my heart rate at 147. I didn't feel faint or sick to myself. I was just working hard.
This is what my trainer told me when I was a bit worried about starting my new program this last Monday..."How much have you lost so far? Rhetorical question, 22 freaking pounds. That's a lot and you're only going to keep losing if you keep going. You're in it for good Jen, keep kicking butt!"
I know he's right. I just have a HUGE tendency to doubt myself and my abilities. I don't want to go anywhere but up with working out and losing weight and inches. I told my Dr. on Friday that I do not want ANYTHING to stop me from getting healthy. She agreed and told me not to get discouraged and to keep going, I'm doing great. I have ZERO desire to quit. I WILL NOT QUIT!!! There are waaaaaaaay too many awesome changes to turn back!
I guess I just need to believe in myself the way you believe in me. I'll get there! Don't give up hope! I hope you were able to get through this w/o wanting to pull your hair out! Thank you for your patience!
I will, however, end on a great note! I had my first protein shake after working out today! I had a banana in it with water, ice and the protein powder! It's good, just something to get used to! If you're my friend on Facebook, you'll see the photo! :) Tonight, while taking a shower, I was noticing my lats and how they're feeling stronger! Everything is getting a bit easier to do! I'm excited about that!!! :)
Have a great week!
Prior to starting my new routine, I felt great about my workout. I knew what to do once I walked through the door. I felt many changes take place that week and in the end, I lost six pounds. This last Monday, I started the new routine and it's a lot more intense. That's not a bad thing. It's just made me question myself a bit more and that's not always a good thing. That's when my mind tries to talk myself out of doing what is good for me. So maybe you can help me out too. :)
I mentioned earlier, in a past blog, that gyms were NEVER my thing. And now that I'm a member of one, I can't imagine it NOT being my thing. I be sure and take Sundays off and even then I'm not liking it, but I know I need a day off.
Ever since Monday, when I had the asthma attack, it put a pretty big fear inside of me. I find that I'm not doing everything I've been suggested to do...the Helix machine, the spin bike...because after I do my cardio to start with and the liquid awesome has begun, I'm ready to go work on the machines and free weights. I work up quite the sweat and by the time I have to walk back up three flights of stairs, I want to sit down at the top. I don't of course, I make it to the bike, but today was leg day, and by the time I got upstairs after the workout, I sat down on another flight of stairs that are up there to get my breathing under control. I got up and went in to do the Helix machine. I'm not too proud to say I SUCK at that. I know I need to do more, but I'm able to do about 15 and my heart is racing. My legs want to collapse under me. I walk on the treadmill. I upped the incline today from 2.5 to 3.0 and I walked between 2.8 and 3.0. And then my stupid leg started to hurt. I went and rode a mile on the bike and called it a day. I rode two miles to start my warm up in 7:35 seconds!!!!!!!!! I beat my old time!!! That always makes me happy. Even if it's not a HUGE difference. Then I went downstairs and did my four machines. I upped the leg extension to 50 lbs and the standing curls to 50 lbs. The back extensions, I guess they are called, I upped it to 120 lbs. I can tell a difference in my back a lot since adding that one in and I do that each day I'm there.
Just to let you know too, I don't put all the weight and stuff in this to toot my own horn. I do it as remembrance for me so I can see how I go up with what I'm doing.
Today ends my second complete week at the gym. I always question myself about this.....am I doing too much weight? Am I right on with the weight? Am I failing myself because I'm freaked about having my heart explode? Am I expecting too much from myself from just being there TWO WEEKS...for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE? I know I'm not in shape, but I also know I'm getting there. Slowly. I feel a lot more than I see happening to my body. I was told today it was noticeable. I've been told it's really noticeable in my face. Which is awesome and it makes me so happy! Go back a few years and that would have FREAKED me out and I would have stopped and gained it all back. But now it makes me happy to see that I'm doing the right thing.
I have nothing to compare with what I'm doing. Karen asked me if I've ever been at the weight I was suppose to be. Nope. I've always been overweight that I can remember and I know why. It's getting worked on as well. So I have no idea what someone who has never stepped foot in a gym is suppose to do. I threw myself in with the help of my trainer and here I am. I guess I'm just scared that with what I'm not doing enough of, will get me in the end. Yes, I want my endurance up, I want to last longer on Cardio machines. I know it's gotten better in my everyday life. My mom and I went to Costco a few days ago and she commented on how much faster I walk now. And guess what? My leg didn't cramp. AND I WAS IN FLIP FLOPS!!!!!! Explain THAT one!!
I'm sorry if this post is all over the place. I guess my head is too on this subject. I guess I just don't want to fail and I feel I am with having this HUGE fear over my head and being too afraid to get my heart rate up to high speed chase numbers. I'm not sure how accurate the heart rate thing is when I ride the bike, but today it showed my heart rate at 147. I didn't feel faint or sick to myself. I was just working hard.
This is what my trainer told me when I was a bit worried about starting my new program this last Monday..."How much have you lost so far? Rhetorical question, 22 freaking pounds. That's a lot and you're only going to keep losing if you keep going. You're in it for good Jen, keep kicking butt!"
I know he's right. I just have a HUGE tendency to doubt myself and my abilities. I don't want to go anywhere but up with working out and losing weight and inches. I told my Dr. on Friday that I do not want ANYTHING to stop me from getting healthy. She agreed and told me not to get discouraged and to keep going, I'm doing great. I have ZERO desire to quit. I WILL NOT QUIT!!! There are waaaaaaaay too many awesome changes to turn back!
I guess I just need to believe in myself the way you believe in me. I'll get there! Don't give up hope! I hope you were able to get through this w/o wanting to pull your hair out! Thank you for your patience!
I will, however, end on a great note! I had my first protein shake after working out today! I had a banana in it with water, ice and the protein powder! It's good, just something to get used to! If you're my friend on Facebook, you'll see the photo! :) Tonight, while taking a shower, I was noticing my lats and how they're feeling stronger! Everything is getting a bit easier to do! I'm excited about that!!! :)
Have a great week!
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
To Save a Life
The title for this one comes from a favorite movie of mine. I thought it would be fitting for this post.
Monday started my new routine at the gym. Needless to say, my butt got kicked. I started with cardio on the treadmill. My trainer told me to bump it up to 3.3. Um...that's...wow. I did it and I could only do one lap before my leg started to throb. I went downstairs and started doing my five normal arm machines. I bumped the weight up on the Lat pull to 75 lbs. The pec deck I now do 40 lbs. Military press (shoulder press) is still 30 lbs. Tricep pull still 45 lbs. Bicep bar still 25 lbs. With that, we added back extensions to strengthen my lower back at 110 lbs, alternating bicep curls with free weights, I believe I did 40 lbs total. Dumbell press I think was 40 lbs total. The butterfly...that one I SUCK at. My right shoulder can't seem to work as well as the left. I did 20 lbs total on that and then I used a bar that weighs 15 lbs to do skullcrushers and I'm happy to report I didn't crush my skull! ha ha ha. After all of that, we went upstairs and I did a machine called Helix. If you don't know what it is, YouTube Helix Machine. That was very new to me so I wasn't on it very long. While I was doing that, my trainer went to set up to spin bikes in the big room. I got on that and he got on the other that was facing me and we started peddling. Then we had to go as fast as we could for 30 seconds. After that, I couldn't breathe; an asthma attack took over. My trainer talked me through it and encouraged me to do the right thing with how to breathe. We kept going after that and then we were done. We rode for about 10 minutes. I got off and worked on getting a full breathe. I was a walking dead person! My face was so red and my heart wanted to beat out of my chest. It was a good burn, scary, but good. I came home and took three Ibprophen.
Tuesday morning came early as it was my first day at the Jungle Gym. I got there around 8:30 and it was a full four and a half hour shift. But it was fun! After I was done there, I headed over to the gym. I went up to the cardio room after changing into my work-out clothes and started on the treadmill. I put it up to 3.0 for speed and that seemed to be plenty because soon after I started, my leg began to cramp. That just discouraged me even more than I already was. I pushed out the 2nd lap and then got myself downstairs to sit and massage the heck out of my leg. The bruise from doing it before is still there, but I can't care when my leg is so cramped up. I was told to start on the leg routine I normally do so I did. I wasn't into working out today as I have been and that really bothered me. I didn't say anything about it because tears were right on the brim. I think my leg extensions are ready to go up in weight. I'm at 40 lbs and have been since I started there a week and a half ago. I'm trying to move everything up. The ones I make look so easy, even though they burn, I need to burn more. After that, I went to the leg press. I was pissed off at my lack of motivation so I decided to up the lbs on that. I've been at 175 for a week so I put on two 45s and two 25s. Total of that was 205 lbs. I was happy with that. The standing leg curl, I'm still at 40 lbs. I'm not sure I'm ready to up that one. After that I went upstairs and did the Helix again...a bit longer than before. I went into the big room to catch my breath after I was done and then I did a few Roman squats. After that I got on the spin bike. I'm not sure how long I rode...not long. I did two sets of 15 seconds going as fast as I could.
I have this fear, I feel it when I'm on the spin bike or on the Helix, that I'm going to go so fast that I can't catch my breath when I'm done. That just freaks me out. I left the gym disappointed in myself and very low motivation. So after I got home, I came to my computer to let my trainer know what was going on. The dam broke and I just cried and cried. He gave me words of encouragement, as did my wonderful boyfriend Terry. They both gave me the same advice. So that's a plus!
After talking to Terry and my trainer and a couple friends, my mind set began to change. I started thinking about this getting healthy. I can't tell you the amount of times my mind has told me to just give up, the road is too hard, you can't do it. I will never forget what my Pastor's wife said one Sunday when I lived in Indiana..."Never say you can't. You CAN, you just need some help!" And I'm finding that very true in the gym. Something else I thought about was, I started this journey on my own. No doctor told me to lose weight. I made the choice. I asked Terry early on if he would support me and not put me down if I failed once or twice. I asked. I made that choice. I decided it was time. Being dedicated to go to the pool every single day and work as hard as I chose to, that's not something I ever thought I'd do. Losing 15 pounds in the month of July simply by changing the way I eat and working out everyday....I did it!!!!!!! I chose to save a life...my life. I lost my vision of who I want to be today. I lost the drive to get there.
I looked in the mirror today at the gym and I didn't see the Jen of today, I saw the Jen from before July. It broke me. It broke my spirit. My mind set changed after realizing the fears and why I lost my motivation. I have a battle to win and I'm not going to lose. There may be days I want to give up, where I hurt so badly I don't want to get out of bed (actually that won't happen because it's not suppose to), where going to the gym just isn't possible because I just don't want to go. It's then that I walk into my bathroom and look at my mirror and see this....
Monday started my new routine at the gym. Needless to say, my butt got kicked. I started with cardio on the treadmill. My trainer told me to bump it up to 3.3. Um...that's...wow. I did it and I could only do one lap before my leg started to throb. I went downstairs and started doing my five normal arm machines. I bumped the weight up on the Lat pull to 75 lbs. The pec deck I now do 40 lbs. Military press (shoulder press) is still 30 lbs. Tricep pull still 45 lbs. Bicep bar still 25 lbs. With that, we added back extensions to strengthen my lower back at 110 lbs, alternating bicep curls with free weights, I believe I did 40 lbs total. Dumbell press I think was 40 lbs total. The butterfly...that one I SUCK at. My right shoulder can't seem to work as well as the left. I did 20 lbs total on that and then I used a bar that weighs 15 lbs to do skullcrushers and I'm happy to report I didn't crush my skull! ha ha ha. After all of that, we went upstairs and I did a machine called Helix. If you don't know what it is, YouTube Helix Machine. That was very new to me so I wasn't on it very long. While I was doing that, my trainer went to set up to spin bikes in the big room. I got on that and he got on the other that was facing me and we started peddling. Then we had to go as fast as we could for 30 seconds. After that, I couldn't breathe; an asthma attack took over. My trainer talked me through it and encouraged me to do the right thing with how to breathe. We kept going after that and then we were done. We rode for about 10 minutes. I got off and worked on getting a full breathe. I was a walking dead person! My face was so red and my heart wanted to beat out of my chest. It was a good burn, scary, but good. I came home and took three Ibprophen.
Tuesday morning came early as it was my first day at the Jungle Gym. I got there around 8:30 and it was a full four and a half hour shift. But it was fun! After I was done there, I headed over to the gym. I went up to the cardio room after changing into my work-out clothes and started on the treadmill. I put it up to 3.0 for speed and that seemed to be plenty because soon after I started, my leg began to cramp. That just discouraged me even more than I already was. I pushed out the 2nd lap and then got myself downstairs to sit and massage the heck out of my leg. The bruise from doing it before is still there, but I can't care when my leg is so cramped up. I was told to start on the leg routine I normally do so I did. I wasn't into working out today as I have been and that really bothered me. I didn't say anything about it because tears were right on the brim. I think my leg extensions are ready to go up in weight. I'm at 40 lbs and have been since I started there a week and a half ago. I'm trying to move everything up. The ones I make look so easy, even though they burn, I need to burn more. After that, I went to the leg press. I was pissed off at my lack of motivation so I decided to up the lbs on that. I've been at 175 for a week so I put on two 45s and two 25s. Total of that was 205 lbs. I was happy with that. The standing leg curl, I'm still at 40 lbs. I'm not sure I'm ready to up that one. After that I went upstairs and did the Helix again...a bit longer than before. I went into the big room to catch my breath after I was done and then I did a few Roman squats. After that I got on the spin bike. I'm not sure how long I rode...not long. I did two sets of 15 seconds going as fast as I could.
I have this fear, I feel it when I'm on the spin bike or on the Helix, that I'm going to go so fast that I can't catch my breath when I'm done. That just freaks me out. I left the gym disappointed in myself and very low motivation. So after I got home, I came to my computer to let my trainer know what was going on. The dam broke and I just cried and cried. He gave me words of encouragement, as did my wonderful boyfriend Terry. They both gave me the same advice. So that's a plus!
After talking to Terry and my trainer and a couple friends, my mind set began to change. I started thinking about this getting healthy. I can't tell you the amount of times my mind has told me to just give up, the road is too hard, you can't do it. I will never forget what my Pastor's wife said one Sunday when I lived in Indiana..."Never say you can't. You CAN, you just need some help!" And I'm finding that very true in the gym. Something else I thought about was, I started this journey on my own. No doctor told me to lose weight. I made the choice. I asked Terry early on if he would support me and not put me down if I failed once or twice. I asked. I made that choice. I decided it was time. Being dedicated to go to the pool every single day and work as hard as I chose to, that's not something I ever thought I'd do. Losing 15 pounds in the month of July simply by changing the way I eat and working out everyday....I did it!!!!!!! I chose to save a life...my life. I lost my vision of who I want to be today. I lost the drive to get there.
I looked in the mirror today at the gym and I didn't see the Jen of today, I saw the Jen from before July. It broke me. It broke my spirit. My mind set changed after realizing the fears and why I lost my motivation. I have a battle to win and I'm not going to lose. There may be days I want to give up, where I hurt so badly I don't want to get out of bed (actually that won't happen because it's not suppose to), where going to the gym just isn't possible because I just don't want to go. It's then that I walk into my bathroom and look at my mirror and see this....
That's all it takes. That right there is what gets my butt in gear and out the door headed down to the gym to get healthy. Terry often reminds me, I didn't get this way overnight and it won't come off overnight. As much as I hate that, it's so very true. And even if being proud of yourself is wrong, then I'm wrong because I am DAMN proud of the steps I've taken and the steps I have yet to make. I will win this war, I will be healthy and fit and I will know I'm worth it.
Not all my posts will be giggles. I, like you, struggle. It's together we can get out of the pit with the muscles we have created, and move forward, only looking back to see how far we've come. I'm motivated, I'm hungry to be healthy, happy and fit.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my blog. It means the world to me and I hope in some small way, it can help you get the motivation you need. It truly helps me stay motivated knowing that you're getting motivated as well!
Remember, you're not just saving a life....you're saving YOUR life!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Road Block
Yesterday, Thursday, began on a good note! I went into the gym and did my routine and when I got to the leg press, I couldn't remember which weights my trainer used, so I put on two 45 lb weights and two 35 lb weights. The press alone is 65 lbs. If you add that up, 225 lbs. Thirty-six reps at 225 lbs. Yes, I did it, but I quickly learned that wasn't the right amount! So today, I went back down to 175 lbs.
After leaving the gym, I decided to go to the Dr. and get weighed. When I stood on the scale, my nurse's face turned into a HUGE happy face! She came back and lifted up six fingers! It's the end of August now (hard to believe right) and I've lost a total of 7 lbs. In July I lost 15. So two months of working out daily and eating better has dropped me 22 lbs. That is a good healthy loss I think and have been told. Let's hope September can be just a tad bit better! :) Also while at the Dr., I asked for my weight to be written down. She did and gave it to me folded in half. I went out to my car, called my mom and told her about the loss. I then drove down to our Bounty Market as it was my friend's birthday. Before getting out of the car, I lifted the top piece of the folded paper to reveal my weight. I broke inside...
I went over and sat down. Another friend who was there and myself started talking about weight and muscle and the gym since we go to the same one. She explained the way muscle is with fat and I wish I could remember it all, but I just can't. I asked if she would explain it to me again. I left a little while later and when I got home, Terry was online and I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I felt like a failure and that no one should be inspired by someone who weighs that much. I never wanted to eat again. The face of failure was staring me down.
That night, I went to bed a failure. I didn't write a blog; I couldn't. I wasn't sure sleep would find me, but it did and for the most part, I slept like a log. I woke up to sweet messages from Terry. I had a hard time staying awake because it just felt like depression had found it's way back to my shoulders. Comfortable in bed is where I wanted to stay. At around 9:00, I made the decision to get up and go eat breakfast. I did and then my dad got home a little after 10:00. I went and got my gym clothes on and walked out the door.
Upon arriving at the gym, I took my last puff and headed for the door. I was expecting to see my trainer, but he wasn't there. I scanned my key and headed upstairs. This last week, I've talked to a couple women just very briefly and when I walked into the treadmill room, they were each on one. I was asked how I was doing and if I was getting used to working out. I told her I was, that it was my 5th day in a row! I got on my treadmill, put my earphones on and started walking. Incline at 2.5, my speed at 2.3. My head said just do one lap. I paid attention to the TV while I walked and did some thinking and before I knew it, one lap was done. I moved it up to 2.5. I continued on. I did my two laps and headed downstairs. I beat that negative thought!
I got on the first machine and pushed out the reps. But the last few...I was feeling it. The first three machines I use are only 12 reps and with today, it felt like so much more. So when I had to do the 21 reps, I had to push hard. I refused to quit. I did the leg extensions before the bicep bar because I forgot. But it was nice because it gave my arms a break to be able to do the bar. The leg press I went back to 175. That was tough for me, but not unbearable. After I finished the machines, I sat on the steps of the staircase that would lead me back up to do more cardio. I took a couple minutes and then made my way up. I got on the bike and my head said just do one mile. I came to the finish on the first lap and kept going another mile. I beat that negative thought. I walked back downstairs and told the one working today to have a nice day as I walked out of the gym. The whole time I felt like the world was on my shoulders, making my workout that much harder. I looked up and saw that the Chamber of Commerce was still open. I have two wonderful friends who work there and I needed support.
I walked in and one friend was busy with some customers so I went to my next friend and she hugged me. I sat down and I told her everything from the day before to right then. She held my hand and listened. I couldn't keep the tears inside. I cried and cried. I was so broken down. She then reminded me of the milestones I've reached. Walking into and staying in a gym is one, getting full body photos taken for my journey, asking for my weight because I haven't known it for YEARS...I then began saying my own of getting up to a great amount of weight on the machines at the gym in less than a week of being there, losing 22 pounds, losing 176 pounds off my knees. Together we removed the world from my shoulders. I walked out of the Chamber feeling SO much better. My support Team Jen friends are amazing. They were there when I needed them most and I can never thank them enough.
I got home from the gym and made some lunch. While eating it, I talked with my sweetheart! I told him that yesterday at the gym, a muscle guy was doing the pec deck while I was doing the shoulder press. I had yet to do the pec deck because he was using it and coming back over and over. As I was resting between sets, I watched him for a few seconds in the mirror. He was doing like 130 lbs and he didn't have a "This is so easy" look on his face. He had the look of pain. When he was done, he stood up and walked away breathing hard. And it hit me as clear as day. He didn't start at 130 lbs. He had to build up to it. I don't know why he's lifting that much, if he's going for competition or what, but just the fact that he had to start somewhere. We ALL have to start somewhere. Some can't even leave their homes and yet they find a way. Today when I was leaving, I looked into the free weight room and there, in a wheelchair, was a lady using weights for her arms. It doesn't matter your age or your size your issue. If you have the desire, the fight, the want, the NEED to change your life, no one is stopping you, but yourself. While I was talking to my friend today, I told her, "I see this picture in my head and I'm standing on a road and all my friends who support me are close behind me and there isn't anything in front of me. The road block was myself. The news of my weight and the instant thought of failure. I may have broke, but I picked up the pieces and put them back together. I know many more of these will come and I will always do the same thing...I will always put the pieces back together, because I'm not just creating someone, I'm creating ME. And I will do it.
I guess even the motivator needs motivation at times.
After leaving the gym, I decided to go to the Dr. and get weighed. When I stood on the scale, my nurse's face turned into a HUGE happy face! She came back and lifted up six fingers! It's the end of August now (hard to believe right) and I've lost a total of 7 lbs. In July I lost 15. So two months of working out daily and eating better has dropped me 22 lbs. That is a good healthy loss I think and have been told. Let's hope September can be just a tad bit better! :) Also while at the Dr., I asked for my weight to be written down. She did and gave it to me folded in half. I went out to my car, called my mom and told her about the loss. I then drove down to our Bounty Market as it was my friend's birthday. Before getting out of the car, I lifted the top piece of the folded paper to reveal my weight. I broke inside...
I went over and sat down. Another friend who was there and myself started talking about weight and muscle and the gym since we go to the same one. She explained the way muscle is with fat and I wish I could remember it all, but I just can't. I asked if she would explain it to me again. I left a little while later and when I got home, Terry was online and I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying. I felt like a failure and that no one should be inspired by someone who weighs that much. I never wanted to eat again. The face of failure was staring me down.
That night, I went to bed a failure. I didn't write a blog; I couldn't. I wasn't sure sleep would find me, but it did and for the most part, I slept like a log. I woke up to sweet messages from Terry. I had a hard time staying awake because it just felt like depression had found it's way back to my shoulders. Comfortable in bed is where I wanted to stay. At around 9:00, I made the decision to get up and go eat breakfast. I did and then my dad got home a little after 10:00. I went and got my gym clothes on and walked out the door.
Upon arriving at the gym, I took my last puff and headed for the door. I was expecting to see my trainer, but he wasn't there. I scanned my key and headed upstairs. This last week, I've talked to a couple women just very briefly and when I walked into the treadmill room, they were each on one. I was asked how I was doing and if I was getting used to working out. I told her I was, that it was my 5th day in a row! I got on my treadmill, put my earphones on and started walking. Incline at 2.5, my speed at 2.3. My head said just do one lap. I paid attention to the TV while I walked and did some thinking and before I knew it, one lap was done. I moved it up to 2.5. I continued on. I did my two laps and headed downstairs. I beat that negative thought!
I got on the first machine and pushed out the reps. But the last few...I was feeling it. The first three machines I use are only 12 reps and with today, it felt like so much more. So when I had to do the 21 reps, I had to push hard. I refused to quit. I did the leg extensions before the bicep bar because I forgot. But it was nice because it gave my arms a break to be able to do the bar. The leg press I went back to 175. That was tough for me, but not unbearable. After I finished the machines, I sat on the steps of the staircase that would lead me back up to do more cardio. I took a couple minutes and then made my way up. I got on the bike and my head said just do one mile. I came to the finish on the first lap and kept going another mile. I beat that negative thought. I walked back downstairs and told the one working today to have a nice day as I walked out of the gym. The whole time I felt like the world was on my shoulders, making my workout that much harder. I looked up and saw that the Chamber of Commerce was still open. I have two wonderful friends who work there and I needed support.
I walked in and one friend was busy with some customers so I went to my next friend and she hugged me. I sat down and I told her everything from the day before to right then. She held my hand and listened. I couldn't keep the tears inside. I cried and cried. I was so broken down. She then reminded me of the milestones I've reached. Walking into and staying in a gym is one, getting full body photos taken for my journey, asking for my weight because I haven't known it for YEARS...I then began saying my own of getting up to a great amount of weight on the machines at the gym in less than a week of being there, losing 22 pounds, losing 176 pounds off my knees. Together we removed the world from my shoulders. I walked out of the Chamber feeling SO much better. My support Team Jen friends are amazing. They were there when I needed them most and I can never thank them enough.
I got home from the gym and made some lunch. While eating it, I talked with my sweetheart! I told him that yesterday at the gym, a muscle guy was doing the pec deck while I was doing the shoulder press. I had yet to do the pec deck because he was using it and coming back over and over. As I was resting between sets, I watched him for a few seconds in the mirror. He was doing like 130 lbs and he didn't have a "This is so easy" look on his face. He had the look of pain. When he was done, he stood up and walked away breathing hard. And it hit me as clear as day. He didn't start at 130 lbs. He had to build up to it. I don't know why he's lifting that much, if he's going for competition or what, but just the fact that he had to start somewhere. We ALL have to start somewhere. Some can't even leave their homes and yet they find a way. Today when I was leaving, I looked into the free weight room and there, in a wheelchair, was a lady using weights for her arms. It doesn't matter your age or your size your issue. If you have the desire, the fight, the want, the NEED to change your life, no one is stopping you, but yourself. While I was talking to my friend today, I told her, "I see this picture in my head and I'm standing on a road and all my friends who support me are close behind me and there isn't anything in front of me. The road block was myself. The news of my weight and the instant thought of failure. I may have broke, but I picked up the pieces and put them back together. I know many more of these will come and I will always do the same thing...I will always put the pieces back together, because I'm not just creating someone, I'm creating ME. And I will do it.
I guess even the motivator needs motivation at times.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Liquid Awesome!!
A very dear friend of mine left the title of this post on a Facebook status of mine and I'm taking it as my own!!
I'm not sure how many people who go to gyms are proud of their sweat, but I TOTALLY am!! I told my trainer and some friends that I didn't want to change, I wanted to wear my sweat all day because I'm VERY proud of it! Of course I didn't because I had places to go, but it's true. I don't go the gym to look cute. I go to the gym to kick some major butt! I don't have liquid awesome coming down my face because I'm just looking at machines and dreaming about working out on them....I DO THEM AND GET AN AWESOME REWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just the sweat, hahahaha, but the feeling that I did something awesome for myself! When you've hated yourself for 27+ years and you start liking yourself and eventually loving yourself...it takes you by surprise, but you grab on and go on an endless ride of finding who you are, what you want to do, who you want to be! And it doesn't matter your age. Age is a number and with exercise, health issues can be resolved. I know my blood pressure is doing AWESOME now! Last time I went to the Dr., my blood pressure was 110/60! NEVER in my life have I had that low of blood pressure! He said, "If you keep that up, we'll be taking you off that medication!" RIGHT ON!!!!!
Today, Wednesday, at the gym, I decided I'd write down what machines I use, the amount of weight I do and the sets/rep. If for no other reason, to look back and see how far I've come!
For my warm-up, I walked a 1/2 mile on the treadmill at a 2.5 incline and 2.4 speed. After my warm-up, I start on the machines. This is in order of what I do.
I'm not sure how many people who go to gyms are proud of their sweat, but I TOTALLY am!! I told my trainer and some friends that I didn't want to change, I wanted to wear my sweat all day because I'm VERY proud of it! Of course I didn't because I had places to go, but it's true. I don't go the gym to look cute. I go to the gym to kick some major butt! I don't have liquid awesome coming down my face because I'm just looking at machines and dreaming about working out on them....I DO THEM AND GET AN AWESOME REWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just the sweat, hahahaha, but the feeling that I did something awesome for myself! When you've hated yourself for 27+ years and you start liking yourself and eventually loving yourself...it takes you by surprise, but you grab on and go on an endless ride of finding who you are, what you want to do, who you want to be! And it doesn't matter your age. Age is a number and with exercise, health issues can be resolved. I know my blood pressure is doing AWESOME now! Last time I went to the Dr., my blood pressure was 110/60! NEVER in my life have I had that low of blood pressure! He said, "If you keep that up, we'll be taking you off that medication!" RIGHT ON!!!!!
Today, Wednesday, at the gym, I decided I'd write down what machines I use, the amount of weight I do and the sets/rep. If for no other reason, to look back and see how far I've come!
For my warm-up, I walked a 1/2 mile on the treadmill at a 2.5 incline and 2.4 speed. After my warm-up, I start on the machines. This is in order of what I do.
- Lateral Pull 3 sets/12 reps per set at 60 lbs
- Pec Deck 3 sets/12 reps per set at 35 lbs
- Military Press 3 sets/12 reps per set at 30 lbs
- Tricep Pull 3 sets/21 reps per set at 45 lbs
- Bicep bar 3 sets/21 reps per set at 25 lbs
- Leg extension 3 sets/12 reps per set at 40 lbs
- Leg press 3 sets/12 reps per set at 155 lbs for the first set...after the first one, my trainer said, "Not gonna lie. That looked really easy!" I looked at him, smiled and said, "Not gonna tell the truth and say you're right!" So he added 10 lbs on each side. The last two sets I did 175 lbs.
- Standing curl (for calves) 3 sets/12 reps per set at 40 lbs.
For cool down I rode two miles on the Espresso Bike.
All in all, I can say I'm really happy with the amount I do with the weights. I see where I'm weakest and those are getting worked on. I haven't gone up in the bicep bar since I've started the gym. I am THRILLED with the weight I can leg press though! I think my trainer was amazed too! And with those, I'm never struggling with doing the sets. My only concern is my knees. I'm sure I could press more, but I'm just worried my knees will backfire on me and that wouldn't set well with me.
I also can't believe the amount I sweat! But you know what? I LOVE EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT! This is sweat I am SO proud of! I worked my ASS off to sweat like that! And it felt good! But I will be honest and tell you, when I was doing the tricep pull....I wanted to quit SO many times, but I didn't. I just paused when I felt I was losing control of the exercise, but I pushed them out and I was very proud of myself. It just shows me what I need to work on!
This evening we went to dinner. I wasn't too worried about what I'd eat because I still had to swim for an hour. Thankfully, after dinner, that was able to happen and I switched up my laps a bit. I took the two hardest arm exercises and the two hardest leg exercises and I do three of each instead of having three different arm and leg laps and not being able to get through them! But, thankfully, I go at my own pace at the gym and I take breaks between machines. I drink a lot of water while I'm there too. So I swam and burned a little over 1500 calories!
A couple friends of mine have been asking me questions about exercise and stuff and I have to say, that has been the most fun! And from what I've heard, my thoughts and ideas are going to become a reality!
I love how tired I get at night! I could fall asleep in my chair and I haven't taken any medication yet! That tells me I'm doing the right thing!
If any of you that read need motivation or suggestions, please don't hesitate to send me an email or a private message on Facebook. I'll make an email for my blog. When that's complete, I will throw it in here and you can feel free to email me and I'll respond as time permits me too! :) most times you'll have a response within a few hours, even a couple or by the time you wake up in the morning!
If any of you that read need motivation or suggestions, please don't hesitate to send me an email or a private message on Facebook. I'll make an email for my blog. When that's complete, I will throw it in here and you can feel free to email me and I'll respond as time permits me too! :) most times you'll have a response within a few hours, even a couple or by the time you wake up in the morning!
Have a wonderful rest of your week! I hope your weather is being nice for you and that you're able to enjoy the nice weather the end of summer is giving us! Thank you again for reading my blog! It means the world to me and I appreciate it more than you know! Keep Smilin! :)
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Team Jen...Thank You!
Friends. They come, they go. Some find a place in your heart and some leave footprints on their way out.
The past month, almost two months, I have gotten great turn out from my friends on Facebook with my new journey. Many of them I know in person, I would say a good 85%, and the others are very dear to my heart. And one of them is the best thing that's ever happened to me!
During one of my meetings, I was told I have a good Team Jen on my side and I took that and brought it to Facebook. And I have to say, when I can post a new status and I have 15 likes in the first 14 minutes of it being up, I don't have just friends, I have Team Jen friends. They are there to support me and just them liking my status, THAT is support. What they may not know is, I may be motivating them, but THEY are motivating ME! They don't have to leave a comment, I know they care. And it's not that they JUST care, they want to see me succeed just as I want to succeed.
All my life, I can honestly say, I have wanted to be an inspiration to people. And in my 37 years of life, I feel as if that is happening now. And I know it's happening now. When a friend tells you they got home from work and didn't want to go to the gym and yet when they read my status, they got their bag and went to the gym. The pride that wells up inside of me for them is outstanding! To be told I'm being followed because they look up to me and I motivate them. I thought I would leave this world never having touched a life. I figured the legacy I would leave would dry up and die with me. But that was before I realized I want to be WHO I AM SUPPOSE TO BE. And right now, I'm not that person. But I am on the right path to find her!
Today I was asked what goals I have for myself. They weren't hard to think of. :) I want to be able to buy clothes in a normal store. I want to be able to go to a concert and buy a shirt because I'll actually wear it. For the last five years I've gone to the same concert in Portland. The last four I've gotten t-shirts because we were VIPs. I can't wear them. I have a shirt from when I saw Celine Dion live in Vegas. I have a shirt from when I did Krav Maga. I can't wear them. It's very sad when you're the one who can't buy or wear anything you really think is cute in normal stores. By normal, I'm talking away from Lane Bryant, Avenue, Big Gals, Catherine's....more like Khols, JCPenny, Ross Dress for Less, Fred Meyer...CLOTHES! THAT FIT! That is a HUGE goal I have! To dress CUTE! I'm 37 and I hide in the color black. Another goal I have is when I get down in weight, to get a Dragon Pride t-shirt from the Chamber here in Dallas. And my other goal, I want to be happy. I...want to be happy. I haven't been and I know I've been WAAAAAAAAAY more happy than in the past and it's real! It's a true and honest happiness! I just want to be happy with ME! To know I don't have to think about what's right or wrong to wear...if I'm going to look more fat or less fat in something. I want to put it on and wear it with pride because dogonit, I worked my ASS off to get this far and I'm NOT going to keep it closed in.
My NUMBER ONE goal in ALL of this...is to help those who don't feel like they deserve to be happy, to those who don't feel they're worth it. To those who want to find themselves. In the last couple of years, I've worked on my life and the steps I've taken have helped me get to this point. The one thing I know, very deep in my heart, is that you are never overweight because you want to be. Or need to be. There is something deep inside that is causing it to happen. And that goes for the other end as well....those who starve themselves, those who binge and purge. I've seen it, I've done it. I understand and I empathize with you. I truly hope you can feel my heart in reading this because I'm pouring it out. My goal is to help those who want it. You have to REALLY want it. And you have to REALLY want it for YOURSELF.
Thank you to each and every single one of you who has climbed on board Team Jen. Even if you don't think you're doing anything, just your "likes" is enough! You each hold a very special place in my heart and be ready, because in a year or so, there's going to be a big celebration and you're ALL invited!! :)
I'll leave you with a photo of one of my favorite motivational pictures....it's a HUGE help to me and it's my desktop photo. Sorry it's so small. Save it and zoom in! :)
The past month, almost two months, I have gotten great turn out from my friends on Facebook with my new journey. Many of them I know in person, I would say a good 85%, and the others are very dear to my heart. And one of them is the best thing that's ever happened to me!
During one of my meetings, I was told I have a good Team Jen on my side and I took that and brought it to Facebook. And I have to say, when I can post a new status and I have 15 likes in the first 14 minutes of it being up, I don't have just friends, I have Team Jen friends. They are there to support me and just them liking my status, THAT is support. What they may not know is, I may be motivating them, but THEY are motivating ME! They don't have to leave a comment, I know they care. And it's not that they JUST care, they want to see me succeed just as I want to succeed.
All my life, I can honestly say, I have wanted to be an inspiration to people. And in my 37 years of life, I feel as if that is happening now. And I know it's happening now. When a friend tells you they got home from work and didn't want to go to the gym and yet when they read my status, they got their bag and went to the gym. The pride that wells up inside of me for them is outstanding! To be told I'm being followed because they look up to me and I motivate them. I thought I would leave this world never having touched a life. I figured the legacy I would leave would dry up and die with me. But that was before I realized I want to be WHO I AM SUPPOSE TO BE. And right now, I'm not that person. But I am on the right path to find her!
Today I was asked what goals I have for myself. They weren't hard to think of. :) I want to be able to buy clothes in a normal store. I want to be able to go to a concert and buy a shirt because I'll actually wear it. For the last five years I've gone to the same concert in Portland. The last four I've gotten t-shirts because we were VIPs. I can't wear them. I have a shirt from when I saw Celine Dion live in Vegas. I have a shirt from when I did Krav Maga. I can't wear them. It's very sad when you're the one who can't buy or wear anything you really think is cute in normal stores. By normal, I'm talking away from Lane Bryant, Avenue, Big Gals, Catherine's....more like Khols, JCPenny, Ross Dress for Less, Fred Meyer...CLOTHES! THAT FIT! That is a HUGE goal I have! To dress CUTE! I'm 37 and I hide in the color black. Another goal I have is when I get down in weight, to get a Dragon Pride t-shirt from the Chamber here in Dallas. And my other goal, I want to be happy. I...want to be happy. I haven't been and I know I've been WAAAAAAAAAY more happy than in the past and it's real! It's a true and honest happiness! I just want to be happy with ME! To know I don't have to think about what's right or wrong to wear...if I'm going to look more fat or less fat in something. I want to put it on and wear it with pride because dogonit, I worked my ASS off to get this far and I'm NOT going to keep it closed in.
My NUMBER ONE goal in ALL of this...is to help those who don't feel like they deserve to be happy, to those who don't feel they're worth it. To those who want to find themselves. In the last couple of years, I've worked on my life and the steps I've taken have helped me get to this point. The one thing I know, very deep in my heart, is that you are never overweight because you want to be. Or need to be. There is something deep inside that is causing it to happen. And that goes for the other end as well....those who starve themselves, those who binge and purge. I've seen it, I've done it. I understand and I empathize with you. I truly hope you can feel my heart in reading this because I'm pouring it out. My goal is to help those who want it. You have to REALLY want it. And you have to REALLY want it for YOURSELF.
Thank you to each and every single one of you who has climbed on board Team Jen. Even if you don't think you're doing anything, just your "likes" is enough! You each hold a very special place in my heart and be ready, because in a year or so, there's going to be a big celebration and you're ALL invited!! :)
I'll leave you with a photo of one of my favorite motivational pictures....it's a HUGE help to me and it's my desktop photo. Sorry it's so small. Save it and zoom in! :)
Monday, August 26, 2013
Helpful Tips...I hope!
In June, my mom and a friend went to a conference on Wellness and the speaker there, who I would love to meet one day, was Deborah Enos, CN The One-Minute Wellness Coach. She has written a book called Weight a minute! Transform your health in 60 seconds a day! I recommend reading it. Mine is highlighted and underlined throughout it and those are the tips I'd like to share with you! On Amazon, the paperback goes for $10.49 and the Kindle Edition is $6.99!
(The blue text is me talking!)
This is the first part of the book.
From the book: Increase your food, decrease your waistline
What:
You're eating a lot less and still can't lose weight. You are beginning to wonder how you can possibly cut back more. This approach is ineffective. The more you reduce your calories, the more you turn down your metabolism. The lower your metabolism, the less fat and calories you burn.
Why:
Here's how it works: The body gets used to functioning on a certain number of calories daily, let's say 1,500. If you reduce that number by a small amount, say 300, you will lose some weight. But if you continue to lower your caloric intake (instead of increasing exercise) your body will go into starvation mode and try to protect itself by burning very little fat and slowing down your metabolic rate. Your body, especially a woman's body, likes to have extra fat, just in case there is a famine around the corner.
From the book: Are you a fat-burning machine or a fat-making machine?
What:
The world is divided into two types of people, those who can eat anything they want and still maintain their weight, and those who look at a piece of cake and gain weight. The former burn up calories and fat as fast as they eat them and the latter store those calories as fat for the winter, 12 months a year.
Why:
Some people are born with a high metabolism, but it is possible to rev up slow metabolism and turn your body into a fat-burning machine.
How:
There are two keys to turning your body into a fat-burning machine:
(The blue text is me talking!)
This is the first part of the book.
- Always eat a high-energy breakfast. This meal should be large enough to keep you full for a least three hours. Include protein here to keep you fuller and more alert through the morning.
- Always eat lunch! Skipping it will set you up to be starving all afternoon, which will make you give into your sugar cravings, which will cause the afternoon doldrums to hit, which will make you want to take a nap.
- Make dinner the smallest meal of the day. If you eat a substantial mid-afternoon snack you won't be as hungry at dinner.
From the book: Increase your food, decrease your waistline
What:
You're eating a lot less and still can't lose weight. You are beginning to wonder how you can possibly cut back more. This approach is ineffective. The more you reduce your calories, the more you turn down your metabolism. The lower your metabolism, the less fat and calories you burn.
Why:
Here's how it works: The body gets used to functioning on a certain number of calories daily, let's say 1,500. If you reduce that number by a small amount, say 300, you will lose some weight. But if you continue to lower your caloric intake (instead of increasing exercise) your body will go into starvation mode and try to protect itself by burning very little fat and slowing down your metabolic rate. Your body, especially a woman's body, likes to have extra fat, just in case there is a famine around the corner.
- Cut back on a small amount of calories while increasing your exercise. The exercise will add muscle to your body and more muscle will increase your metabolism so that you will be a fat-burning machine all day long. You will burn more calories while you sleep, eat, work and play.
- Eat all day. Spreading your calories throughout the day prompts your body to burn more calories. Every time you eat, you raise your body temperature, which is, in essence, your metabolism. People who eat five to six times per day burn more calories and lose more weight then people who eat only one or two meals a day.
- Eat the majority of your calories during the day, when you need the most energy. If your biggest meal of the day is right before bed, your body has no opportunity to burn off those calories through activity.
- Eat within a half-hour of getting up. Your metabolism sleeps while you sleep. It needs a little food to wake it up in the morning. As soon as you eat, it reports to work and starts burning fat and calories. It doesn't take a huge breakfast to turn on your metabolism. If you're not hungry in the morning, start your day with a hundred-calorie snack--a piece of fruit or a glass of milk.
From the book: Are you a fat-burning machine or a fat-making machine?
What:
The world is divided into two types of people, those who can eat anything they want and still maintain their weight, and those who look at a piece of cake and gain weight. The former burn up calories and fat as fast as they eat them and the latter store those calories as fat for the winter, 12 months a year.
Why:
Some people are born with a high metabolism, but it is possible to rev up slow metabolism and turn your body into a fat-burning machine.
How:
There are two keys to turning your body into a fat-burning machine:
- Add more muscle to your body. One pound of muscle burns approximately 80 calories a day. One pound of fat burns only two calories a day. Choose exercises that will add muscle to your frame and increase your daily calorie burn.
- Burn calories, don't cut them. People who have lost weight and kept it off know the importance of staying active. In fact, a recent study on fidgeting shows that multiple movements throughout the day can play a tremendous role in weight loss and weight-loss maintenance (Levine and Eberhardt 1999). Many people in the study moved enough to burn an extra 850 calories a day, the equivalent of an 8.5 mile walk!
Here are a few ways to add muscle to your body and increase calories burned:
- Take the stairs. An extra 10 minutes of stair climbing a day will burn 12 pounds of fat a year.
- Do standing push-ups against your kitchen or bathroom counter.
- Do lunges or squats while on the phone or watching TV.
- Work in the garden.
- Actively play (lifting and moving) with kids.
- Walk more. An extra 10 minutes of walking each day will burn almost 5 pounds of fat a year. It really does pay to park your car in the farthest space from the store.
- Link your house chores into one long cardio segment. Start your day by raking leaves, then wash the car and walk the dog. These activities could add up to an hour or more of fat burning.
- Throw away your remote control and actually walk over to the TV to change the channel.
- Just move. Any activity is better than no activity.
We all have those friends who can eat anything and stay thin huh? And you just wanna punch em in the arm! But sometimes, it's okay to fight for what you want. In the end, you have only one person to be proud of and that's you!
This morning I got up and the back of my right knee was like in a cramp or something. I thought it might keep me from the gym, but then I really did wake up and didn't let that happen! I had a semi big breakfast and I learned my lesson on that, especially if I'm working out at the gym in the morning, which I like best. For breakfast I had oatmeal, a banana, a small glass of milk, two pieces of toast with peanut butter and a hard boiled egg. Something I learned today, the yoke of an egg is 13 grams of fat. I doubt that will stop me from eating them, but who knows! Changes are happening!
So after I ate, I got ready for the gym. I got there around 10 and I walked in, hung my keys up and headed upstairs. I'm starting very slowly on the Elliptical and today I did 3.5 minutes. I'm trying to up it each day. I take small breaks, but it stops counting my time so when I go back to it, it takes off where I stopped. When I was done with that, I went downstairs and looked for the machine I start with. I finally found it and got started with my routine. Busted out the weight and went up on a few. I do a LOT of arm machines so by the time I get to my legs, I'm happy! When I got to the leg press, I asked my trainer how much weight we used before and I asked if we could put more on. Before he added 50 lbs. So I lifted 115 lbs. Just doing the machine w/o any added weight is 65 lbs. Today though, Monday, he first put on 70 lbs extra...135 lbs total. That wasn't tough at all. He took those off and added 90 lbs...making the full weight 155 lbs. That was it! When he was done adding the 90 lbs, I asked him how much weight that is total and when he said 155, I just about screamed for joy! I did a complete set with 155 lbs! That is my limit as of this time. After that, I went and sat on the stairs before I headed upstairs for my cool down. I knew I had to or my legs wouldn't have made it up! They were worn down from the leg presses. I waited about a minute or so and then I dragged myself up the stairs! Only three flights...UGH! I made it up there and wanted to find a seat, but the only one I knew I needed was the bike. Ha ha! I got there and rode a 2 miles bike ride for my cool down. I walked out of the gym at 11:30.
I came home and had a small lunch and then talked with Terry! That always makes my day 100% better! :) I watched some TV and around 5, I started cooking the chicken breast for my salad. Ate that for dinner and then got ready to go swimming. It was raining outside and I love swimming in the rain so I drove to the pool and swam for an hour! Came home, took a shower and started writing this! It's a rather long one, but I wanted to give you some tips that maybe you can take and use as you begin your new journey if you're choosing to start one.
I hope you had a great first day to your week! Here's onto the next one! Remember to share a smile...you never know whose life you may bring sunshine to. :)
Sunday, August 25, 2013
A New Week
Today, Sunday, was my day off. My plan for this week is to hit the gym every day. However, I talked to my trainer and asked him if I could go through my routine twice, back to back. He said if I don't feel like I'm getting enough, we can step it up. I told him that I have a huge goal to meet by June and about my right shoulder being just about unusable on Saturday. Which, by the way, is feeling MUCH better today! I have zero pain anywhere! So he said we'll step it up! I cannot tell you how excited I am to get to the gym tomorrow!!
Saturday afternoon I told Terry that I had the sudden desire to go down to the gym and work out, I had a desire to work so hard sweat poured off me. On Friday when I was there, I looked at my trainer and said, "I haven't sweat like this since I was doing Krav and that was in 2005!!" He just smiled! Sometimes that smile scares me! But I know he's on Team Jen too!
I'm going back and forth about going swimming before the gym. I'm going to be working really hard at the gym and I think I'd like to put my energy into that and then perhaps swim in the evening. And I don't want to be so sore I can't go the next day. I want to hit it every day so I can go in to get weighed on Friday and see what it does for me. I think tomorrow I'll try the gym first!
I got the best surprise in my life this afternoon! I was at my cousin's 1st birthday party and while talking to my Aunt, my phone rang. I didn't answer it. So when I went to sit down at the picnic table, I checked my phone and my missed called was from My Love. I almost dropped my phone. I was thinking, "Terry called me? He can't call me, he doesn't have talk....oh my gosh!" So I checked the voicemail and sure enough....I heard him! I wanted to scream! I got this HUGE smile on my face and my mom asked me if it was Terry! I nodded my head and told her that I wouldn't be back! I headed out of the area of the party, as far as I could, and when Terry answered his phone, I almost lost it! I was BEYOND excited!!!!!!!! I'm smiling from ear to ear as I even write this part! My heart filled up with so much joy and warmth! It was awesome!! We talked for probably 45 minutes! It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I shot past Cloud 9 and landed among the stars!!
I know I said my next blog would be helpful tips from the book I'm reading, but I promise to do that tomorrow, Monday! I hope you had a great weekend! Mine started good and ended AWESOME! Have a wonderful week! See you tomorrow! :)
Saturday afternoon I told Terry that I had the sudden desire to go down to the gym and work out, I had a desire to work so hard sweat poured off me. On Friday when I was there, I looked at my trainer and said, "I haven't sweat like this since I was doing Krav and that was in 2005!!" He just smiled! Sometimes that smile scares me! But I know he's on Team Jen too!
I'm going back and forth about going swimming before the gym. I'm going to be working really hard at the gym and I think I'd like to put my energy into that and then perhaps swim in the evening. And I don't want to be so sore I can't go the next day. I want to hit it every day so I can go in to get weighed on Friday and see what it does for me. I think tomorrow I'll try the gym first!
I got the best surprise in my life this afternoon! I was at my cousin's 1st birthday party and while talking to my Aunt, my phone rang. I didn't answer it. So when I went to sit down at the picnic table, I checked my phone and my missed called was from My Love. I almost dropped my phone. I was thinking, "Terry called me? He can't call me, he doesn't have talk....oh my gosh!" So I checked the voicemail and sure enough....I heard him! I wanted to scream! I got this HUGE smile on my face and my mom asked me if it was Terry! I nodded my head and told her that I wouldn't be back! I headed out of the area of the party, as far as I could, and when Terry answered his phone, I almost lost it! I was BEYOND excited!!!!!!!! I'm smiling from ear to ear as I even write this part! My heart filled up with so much joy and warmth! It was awesome!! We talked for probably 45 minutes! It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I shot past Cloud 9 and landed among the stars!!
I know I said my next blog would be helpful tips from the book I'm reading, but I promise to do that tomorrow, Monday! I hope you had a great weekend! Mine started good and ended AWESOME! Have a wonderful week! See you tomorrow! :)
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Little Things
A couple weeks into my new way of living, I started to notice things were getting easier to do. I think, that alone, was a HUGE push for me to keep going! Normally, it would scare me to see change. I saw it as I was losing my protection and I would be hurt again. But whatever clicked inside of me, it threw away the fear of being hurt. So when I see changes, no matter how small, I love it!
One of the first things I noticed was, when I would go through a tighter place, I wouldn't touch the sides. Chairs that were too tight at the hip area...not as tight anymore. Getting dressed and when you put your shirt on, your arms swim in the arm holes...esp in long sleeve. And all I was doing then was swimming every day. I saw the changes of that and I was thrilled!
The simple act of taking a shower. That used to wear me out. I'd have to sit on the side of the tub for a few minutes to catch my breath. That was a PITA (Pain in the arse). And just drying off...it took work and now...it's not hard at all. I'm way more flexible again and inches are coming off. Even if I don't lose pounds, I know I'm losing inches! I've also noticed my lap is getting more room! This has been a big issue for me since that is where most of my weight is. But it's coming off and I know it's inches, so I am extremely happy!
Along with seeing the little things that are changing, it doesn't take much to do something. Because something is better than nothing! I have six different motivational photos in my bathroom...this is one of them...
One of the first things I noticed was, when I would go through a tighter place, I wouldn't touch the sides. Chairs that were too tight at the hip area...not as tight anymore. Getting dressed and when you put your shirt on, your arms swim in the arm holes...esp in long sleeve. And all I was doing then was swimming every day. I saw the changes of that and I was thrilled!
The simple act of taking a shower. That used to wear me out. I'd have to sit on the side of the tub for a few minutes to catch my breath. That was a PITA (Pain in the arse). And just drying off...it took work and now...it's not hard at all. I'm way more flexible again and inches are coming off. Even if I don't lose pounds, I know I'm losing inches! I've also noticed my lap is getting more room! This has been a big issue for me since that is where most of my weight is. But it's coming off and I know it's inches, so I am extremely happy!
Along with seeing the little things that are changing, it doesn't take much to do something. Because something is better than nothing! I have six different motivational photos in my bathroom...this is one of them...
So no matter what you do, if you're doing SOMETHING, you're ahead of everyone who isn't doing anything!! I don't know many people who don't like music...who will admit to making up dances to songs when you were younger? Heck yeah I did! Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson! I danced to that song all the time! And we all know music has gotten a bit better since then! I'm not saying you have to go out and dance in your yard! Do it in your house, in your bedroom, if you have kids, have them join in! Include them! It's never too early to teach a healthy way of living. It's never too late either.
I'm not a coach, I'm not an exercise pro. I'm just a woman finding herself after being lost for 27 years. And if I can give ANY glimmer of hope, ANY inspiration, that is my ultimate goal. If you have questions, I will do my best to answer them. In my next post I'll talk about what I changed in order to start succeeding at this new journey!
An Answer to Prayer
The first week of July, I decided to start my new journey. A new month, easy to keep track. Perfect! I went to the pool and I started out just kicking as I stayed in the middle of the 9 ft. A week later I decided to start doing laps. I did one lap of using just my arms and one lap of just using my legs. On the night I wasn't able to swim, I decided to ride my bike and quickly found out I had a very serious issue...I couldn't breathe. I slowly made my way home and when I walked through the door, I got a glass of water and went to sit down. It took me a good hour and a half before I was able to take a full breath. The next evening I went swimming and figured I'd be safe to do some serious laps. I did two free-style laps and that was it. I couldn't breathe. I hung onto the side of the pool, trying with all I had to get that one breath I needed. A few minutes later I was able to get it. I just stayed on the side and kicked. That night, Terry asked me if I had ever had asthma. I researched it and sure enough...
The next week I started doing laps the way I first had done them...a lap with just arms and a lap with just legs, but I upped it to three laps of each for a 1/2 hour. The next week I changed it up to an hour. Again, I did 3 laps. On the Friday of that week, I added four laps. I got three days in of the four laps and the pool was closed due to an algae break out. Great...no swimming. Guess I'll ride the bike. That evening I was talking to a friend of mine that owns a gym in Dallas. She told me to print out a free three day pass. I did. And for the three days the pool was closed, I went to the gym and rode bike and used the rowing machine. On my third day of going for free, I had talked to my mom about joining the gym. After a much heated discussion, it wasn't going to happen. With feeling very defeated, I drove down to the gym and rode 3.2 miles on the bike and pushed out as many rows as I could on the rowing machine. That didn't take all the stress away, but enough for me to see clearly again.
The pool remained closed for the rest of that week and I was BEYOND thrilled to have it opened again when it was fixed! I made my way over there every morning, turned on my music, used my inhaler, oh yeah, I had gone to the Dr. after I couldn't breathe with exercising and it was determined I have on set asthma with exercising. So, I got in the pool and busted out an hour of four laps each. By the end, I was feeling awesome and very productive. I'm not 100% sure how to say or explain the laps I did....all together, I was doing around 32ish laps in the hour.
August rolled around and I continued with the four laps. Our camping vacation was coming up and instead of upping it to five laps, I stuck with the four.
While camping, I was shoved to the front of the test my self-control line. For the month of July, I kept track of what I was eating, how many calories I was eating and staying with it. I made sure that I had my food while we camped. I never ate any of the dinners that were made while camping. I had my chicken Cesar salad. Doughnuts were bought and let me tell you...the temptation to just have ONE, hit me so hard over and over. I finally picked up the boxes and checked the calories. That was all it took. The desire faded away. But the last day of camping, my nephew had gotten one of the last on and I called him over to me and asked for a bite. He was very kind and let me take one. I kept that piece in my mouth for a minute or so, just enjoying the yummy goodness in my mouth. I swallowed and vowed to not do that again. (I didn't say never, but it's pretty close to that). The day before was my mom's birthday, the 17th, and we had pizza for dinner. Yes, I ate some. Later that evening, my brothers and SIL brought back small cupcakes. I had one. And it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!!!! The bad part though, I wasn't working out as I should have. My intention was to walk, but that never happened. The last few nights, I rode bike with my sister-in-law and niece. That felt great! But I just didn't have an appetite. My SIL suggested it was because I hadn't been working out. I believe she hit the nail on the head. :)
Also, to add, I had been going to my Dr.'s every Friday to get weighed. In the month of July, I lost a total of 16 pounds!
We got back from camping and when I got back into the pool, I decided I was going to bypass five laps and go to six. So now I swim for an hour and do approx 60 laps. The CD I made of upbeat songs is an hour so that works out awesome.
This last week, my mom and I went to lunch and I asked her about the gym, again. My counselor and I figured out that I'd have to sell 200 cards to make the money for the gym. I didn't have the faith to see that happening. On the way home that evening, I decided to tell my mom what my friend, who owns the gym, offered to me. Instantly my mom said, "JEN! That's an answer to prayer!!!" So I text my friend and we made arrangements to talk the next day. This was August 21st, just a few days ago. I decided to take on what was handed to me and my gym membership is taken care of. THAT right THERE shows me that God is totally in control and He's opening all the doors I need to get healthy so I can do what I was made to do for Him! So after our meeting, we walked to the gym and she asked her son, who works at the gym, if he would help me get a plan going. He asked me when would be a good time and I said, "Well, whatcha doin' now?" Just those four words set my life in a whole new direction. I walked out of the gym an hour and a half later feeling like I just conquered a huge mountain and won! My desire was to go the next day, but when I woke up, yeah that most likely wasn't going to happen. I didn't want to get up and into the pool, but I did it. I swam for an hour and let me tell ya, the muscles I found at the gym, are used while swimming and OMGOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the most painful swim I had EVER had! But you know what? I was SO stoked! Why? Because the pain I was feeling was GOOD pain and I PUT IT THERE ON PURPOSE!!!!!!!!!!!! I caused this pain and it showed me and told me that I was making HUGE changes in my life and body and I am MORE than ready for it!!! That night I went for a bike ride and rode the farthest and longest I had yet to date on my own, away from the gym. I was very proud of myself! And boy did my legs cuss me out! hahahaha
Today, Friday, for another 27 minutes, I wanted to go to the gym. My plan was to go after my writing class. That didn't happen. My mom and I went to Subway for lunch instead. At 3:30, I drove home from Monmouth, let my dog out, changed my clothes, put my dog away, and drove down to the gym. And once again, I was in for a very exciting day!
I started out on the elliptical. I did that on Wednesday as well and only did a minute forty-five...very little, but a lot for me. Remember, I'm starting at ground level. Today, I was on it for three minutes!!!!! I made my way downstairs and started on my plan. Oooooooooh did my arms remind me of the pain I caused them. I slapped them, told myself I GOT THIS and busted out what I had to do. As I gave my trainer a high five, a fly would have laughed at that! Talk about weak! We got the arms done and we moved onto the legs. I did the two machines and then I got on the leg press. I couldn't do this one on Wed because I wasn't wearing the right shoes. I did today!! I asked my trainer how much weight was there. He told me he would tell me when I was done. So I did one set and asked him again. He said, "Sixty-five pounds." I was like, "REALLY?" He laughed and nodded. I asked if we could add weight. He added 25 lbs to each side. Now, I suck at math so I was just into pressing the weight. Chris said, "That's 115 lbs." I got done with my second set and said, "WHAT?!" He laughed and said "Yep!" I WAS ECSTATIC!!! I did my last set and asked him if I could do another one. I did THREE MORE!!!!!!!!!!! I think he was pretty happy with that! I know I was over the moon thrilled!!! It's funny how with some things my legs are weak, but with others, they're strong! YAY!!! For my cool down, instead of walking on the treadmill, I decided to ride bike. So I walked upstairs and rode 1.5 miles for my cool down, through the Red Woods. It was a lovely ride and also the least painful one. I had no problem doing the whole course w/o pausing! This weekend I will swim and ride bike. Next week I plan to be at the gym every day and I will go into my Dr. on Friday and see how the gym is helping me! I'm learning A LOT from my trainer and a book I'm reading about healthy eating!
The changes I have made in my life are nothing short of a miracle. I'm learning that I'm worth getting healthy. And I'm not calling this a diet, I'm not saying I'm losing weight..............I'm getting healthy! Diets fade, weight comes back on......I'm getting healthy and I'm staying healthy. Eating right and exercising is now a permanent doing in my life!!!
God opened the door for me to go to the gym. He gave me the man who was made for me. And He gave me an awesome group of supportive friends and family! I am truly a very blessed woman who is never giving up on herself again!
I GOT THIS!!!!!
I CAN DO THIS!!!
Two of my favorite sayings now!!! :)
The next week I started doing laps the way I first had done them...a lap with just arms and a lap with just legs, but I upped it to three laps of each for a 1/2 hour. The next week I changed it up to an hour. Again, I did 3 laps. On the Friday of that week, I added four laps. I got three days in of the four laps and the pool was closed due to an algae break out. Great...no swimming. Guess I'll ride the bike. That evening I was talking to a friend of mine that owns a gym in Dallas. She told me to print out a free three day pass. I did. And for the three days the pool was closed, I went to the gym and rode bike and used the rowing machine. On my third day of going for free, I had talked to my mom about joining the gym. After a much heated discussion, it wasn't going to happen. With feeling very defeated, I drove down to the gym and rode 3.2 miles on the bike and pushed out as many rows as I could on the rowing machine. That didn't take all the stress away, but enough for me to see clearly again.
The pool remained closed for the rest of that week and I was BEYOND thrilled to have it opened again when it was fixed! I made my way over there every morning, turned on my music, used my inhaler, oh yeah, I had gone to the Dr. after I couldn't breathe with exercising and it was determined I have on set asthma with exercising. So, I got in the pool and busted out an hour of four laps each. By the end, I was feeling awesome and very productive. I'm not 100% sure how to say or explain the laps I did....all together, I was doing around 32ish laps in the hour.
August rolled around and I continued with the four laps. Our camping vacation was coming up and instead of upping it to five laps, I stuck with the four.
While camping, I was shoved to the front of the test my self-control line. For the month of July, I kept track of what I was eating, how many calories I was eating and staying with it. I made sure that I had my food while we camped. I never ate any of the dinners that were made while camping. I had my chicken Cesar salad. Doughnuts were bought and let me tell you...the temptation to just have ONE, hit me so hard over and over. I finally picked up the boxes and checked the calories. That was all it took. The desire faded away. But the last day of camping, my nephew had gotten one of the last on and I called him over to me and asked for a bite. He was very kind and let me take one. I kept that piece in my mouth for a minute or so, just enjoying the yummy goodness in my mouth. I swallowed and vowed to not do that again. (I didn't say never, but it's pretty close to that). The day before was my mom's birthday, the 17th, and we had pizza for dinner. Yes, I ate some. Later that evening, my brothers and SIL brought back small cupcakes. I had one. And it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!!!! The bad part though, I wasn't working out as I should have. My intention was to walk, but that never happened. The last few nights, I rode bike with my sister-in-law and niece. That felt great! But I just didn't have an appetite. My SIL suggested it was because I hadn't been working out. I believe she hit the nail on the head. :)
Also, to add, I had been going to my Dr.'s every Friday to get weighed. In the month of July, I lost a total of 16 pounds!
We got back from camping and when I got back into the pool, I decided I was going to bypass five laps and go to six. So now I swim for an hour and do approx 60 laps. The CD I made of upbeat songs is an hour so that works out awesome.
This last week, my mom and I went to lunch and I asked her about the gym, again. My counselor and I figured out that I'd have to sell 200 cards to make the money for the gym. I didn't have the faith to see that happening. On the way home that evening, I decided to tell my mom what my friend, who owns the gym, offered to me. Instantly my mom said, "JEN! That's an answer to prayer!!!" So I text my friend and we made arrangements to talk the next day. This was August 21st, just a few days ago. I decided to take on what was handed to me and my gym membership is taken care of. THAT right THERE shows me that God is totally in control and He's opening all the doors I need to get healthy so I can do what I was made to do for Him! So after our meeting, we walked to the gym and she asked her son, who works at the gym, if he would help me get a plan going. He asked me when would be a good time and I said, "Well, whatcha doin' now?" Just those four words set my life in a whole new direction. I walked out of the gym an hour and a half later feeling like I just conquered a huge mountain and won! My desire was to go the next day, but when I woke up, yeah that most likely wasn't going to happen. I didn't want to get up and into the pool, but I did it. I swam for an hour and let me tell ya, the muscles I found at the gym, are used while swimming and OMGOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the most painful swim I had EVER had! But you know what? I was SO stoked! Why? Because the pain I was feeling was GOOD pain and I PUT IT THERE ON PURPOSE!!!!!!!!!!!! I caused this pain and it showed me and told me that I was making HUGE changes in my life and body and I am MORE than ready for it!!! That night I went for a bike ride and rode the farthest and longest I had yet to date on my own, away from the gym. I was very proud of myself! And boy did my legs cuss me out! hahahaha
Today, Friday, for another 27 minutes, I wanted to go to the gym. My plan was to go after my writing class. That didn't happen. My mom and I went to Subway for lunch instead. At 3:30, I drove home from Monmouth, let my dog out, changed my clothes, put my dog away, and drove down to the gym. And once again, I was in for a very exciting day!
I started out on the elliptical. I did that on Wednesday as well and only did a minute forty-five...very little, but a lot for me. Remember, I'm starting at ground level. Today, I was on it for three minutes!!!!! I made my way downstairs and started on my plan. Oooooooooh did my arms remind me of the pain I caused them. I slapped them, told myself I GOT THIS and busted out what I had to do. As I gave my trainer a high five, a fly would have laughed at that! Talk about weak! We got the arms done and we moved onto the legs. I did the two machines and then I got on the leg press. I couldn't do this one on Wed because I wasn't wearing the right shoes. I did today!! I asked my trainer how much weight was there. He told me he would tell me when I was done. So I did one set and asked him again. He said, "Sixty-five pounds." I was like, "REALLY?" He laughed and nodded. I asked if we could add weight. He added 25 lbs to each side. Now, I suck at math so I was just into pressing the weight. Chris said, "That's 115 lbs." I got done with my second set and said, "WHAT?!" He laughed and said "Yep!" I WAS ECSTATIC!!! I did my last set and asked him if I could do another one. I did THREE MORE!!!!!!!!!!! I think he was pretty happy with that! I know I was over the moon thrilled!!! It's funny how with some things my legs are weak, but with others, they're strong! YAY!!! For my cool down, instead of walking on the treadmill, I decided to ride bike. So I walked upstairs and rode 1.5 miles for my cool down, through the Red Woods. It was a lovely ride and also the least painful one. I had no problem doing the whole course w/o pausing! This weekend I will swim and ride bike. Next week I plan to be at the gym every day and I will go into my Dr. on Friday and see how the gym is helping me! I'm learning A LOT from my trainer and a book I'm reading about healthy eating!
The changes I have made in my life are nothing short of a miracle. I'm learning that I'm worth getting healthy. And I'm not calling this a diet, I'm not saying I'm losing weight..............I'm getting healthy! Diets fade, weight comes back on......I'm getting healthy and I'm staying healthy. Eating right and exercising is now a permanent doing in my life!!!
God opened the door for me to go to the gym. He gave me the man who was made for me. And He gave me an awesome group of supportive friends and family! I am truly a very blessed woman who is never giving up on herself again!
I GOT THIS!!!!!
I CAN DO THIS!!!
Two of my favorite sayings now!!! :)
Friday, August 23, 2013
The Change...For Me
On June 6th, I was introduced on Facebook to a friend of a friend. His name, Terry. That evening, I signed onto Facebook and I had a friend request from him. I accepted right away and headed over to his page to say Hi! He wrote back and said Hi! We started private messaging on FB and as each day passed, our feelings grew. Our form of communication grew as well. We have yet to actually touch, but we have met "face to face" via videos sent back and forth. Prior to that, we talked back and forth on the FB chat on our phones. A wonderful friendship was being formed!
Prior to meeting Terry, I was a step away from giving up on the dream of ever finding the man who was made just for me. I'd gone through a few and I just figured I was destined to be alone. Even though my Bible has told me differently for as long as I can remember. I had also given up on being a mommy. That was a dream from the early age of eight. I gave myself to 35. I know the risks for problems are much higher in the later thirties and I refused to put an innocent life through that. That dream is truly laid to rest. But the dream to be married and happy was fading. Terry, I learned, was at the same spot in his life. I guess you could say we saved each other, but he truly is the best man who has ever loved me.
A few weeks into our relationship, I asked him, "If I wanted to lose weight, would you support me?" He was more than happy to do it. I told him I didn't want judgement, I didn't want being put down or be made to feel like I failed majorly if I didn't work out one day or ate something I shouldn't. He was more than anything I ever dreamed possible. He has NEVER put me down, he has ALWAYS built me up. Nine times out of ten, I'm the one putting myself down and he's the one helping me see that I didn't fail. When I question if he'll love me if I end up not reaching my goal and he says no matter what he'll love me, that amazes me. He's seen me, he knows my size. Soon he will know my weight. But nothing has made him run, nothing has made him lost interest. I haven't found Mr. Right, I found my soul mate. Never has this been a "me" thing. When I ask him questions or I start to doubt my abilities, he never says you'll get through this...he says WE'LL get through it. He's my team mate, my side arm. He's my supporter. He encourages me, never discourages me. He's always there to share in my excitement of what I did at the pool, or at the gym. He tells me he's proud of me.
Am I doing this for him? Am I changing my life just for him?
NO!
I'm doing this for ME because it's MY body and I have to LIVE in MY body for the REST of my LIFE. Does it help that I have such a HUGE support system in him, yes. Of course. But he isn't the one that puts the food in my mouth, he isn't the one that walks me into the gym. I am the one who refuses to eat a dessert that I know is full of calories that I just worked off. I'm the one who decides to walk into the gym and start changing my life. Do I look forward to the day he can walk in with me and join me? You bet your booty I do!!! Not only do I get to enjoy the benefits of my journey, he does as well! And I love that! But it's me...I'm doing this for me.
Prior to meeting Terry, I was a step away from giving up on the dream of ever finding the man who was made just for me. I'd gone through a few and I just figured I was destined to be alone. Even though my Bible has told me differently for as long as I can remember. I had also given up on being a mommy. That was a dream from the early age of eight. I gave myself to 35. I know the risks for problems are much higher in the later thirties and I refused to put an innocent life through that. That dream is truly laid to rest. But the dream to be married and happy was fading. Terry, I learned, was at the same spot in his life. I guess you could say we saved each other, but he truly is the best man who has ever loved me.
A few weeks into our relationship, I asked him, "If I wanted to lose weight, would you support me?" He was more than happy to do it. I told him I didn't want judgement, I didn't want being put down or be made to feel like I failed majorly if I didn't work out one day or ate something I shouldn't. He was more than anything I ever dreamed possible. He has NEVER put me down, he has ALWAYS built me up. Nine times out of ten, I'm the one putting myself down and he's the one helping me see that I didn't fail. When I question if he'll love me if I end up not reaching my goal and he says no matter what he'll love me, that amazes me. He's seen me, he knows my size. Soon he will know my weight. But nothing has made him run, nothing has made him lost interest. I haven't found Mr. Right, I found my soul mate. Never has this been a "me" thing. When I ask him questions or I start to doubt my abilities, he never says you'll get through this...he says WE'LL get through it. He's my team mate, my side arm. He's my supporter. He encourages me, never discourages me. He's always there to share in my excitement of what I did at the pool, or at the gym. He tells me he's proud of me.
Am I doing this for him? Am I changing my life just for him?
NO!
I'm doing this for ME because it's MY body and I have to LIVE in MY body for the REST of my LIFE. Does it help that I have such a HUGE support system in him, yes. Of course. But he isn't the one that puts the food in my mouth, he isn't the one that walks me into the gym. I am the one who refuses to eat a dessert that I know is full of calories that I just worked off. I'm the one who decides to walk into the gym and start changing my life. Do I look forward to the day he can walk in with me and join me? You bet your booty I do!!! Not only do I get to enjoy the benefits of my journey, he does as well! And I love that! But it's me...I'm doing this for me.
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