This is me when I was 15 years old. I actually wasn't thin at this time in my life, but this photo was taken at such an angle to make me look as if I am. This is the ONLY photo I have that I can refer back to "I used to be this size." I guess I'm at the point that any size lower than the one I'm at now would be great! For the most part, I've dropped a size. I've always worn bigger clothes to hide. I'm finding I'm moving past that a little at a time. This morning, when I was getting ready for church, I walked into my room after my shower and said to myself, "Now what to wear?" I moved some shirts in the closet and saw a blue one I wore seven years ago (not eight as my FB status said...oops) when I worked for Lifetouch Preschool Portraits. After leaving that job in 2006, I moved these clothes to the back of the closet. I figured I'd never wear them again, but hope was always in the back of my mind. So I put on one of my new smaller tops and the blue button up from 2006. I slid it on and went, "Wow!!" I was beyond thrilled! I wore my black slakes and my boots. I wore blue and silver earrings and my blue bracelet my cousin made me. The button up didn't even come close to closing at the bottom of it, but I didn't get down on myself or discouraged. I was happy!
Yesterday was the end of my third week of going to the gym full time! I remember thinking on Monday, "another week for the gym" and before I knew it, it was Friday. Amazing how fast the week flies by! It helps that I have something to do every day. The bad part of the week was after Tuesday when I did some punching for extra cardio. The days following that, my right wrist was experiencing a LOT of pain; to the point I couldn't put any weight on it with palm down. I did my best to live with it and continued to work out with my arms one day, legs the next. Friday evening, I went to the gym later in the evening and when I went to the bicep curls, I curled the right arm and had shooting pain from my wrist to my elbow. I clenched my jaw and kept going. I'm not a quitter. The other thing that is really giving me issues is my knees. I've lost a total of 208 lbs off of my knees and I know they're very thankful for that, but I'm also very aware that there is still a LOT of weight to be taken off. Because of this, and because of the leg exercises I do and the walking, whenever I climb stairs or descend stairs, my knees get a sharp stabbing pain with each step taken. I have heard this isn't good. I've heard I need to get both my knees and wrist looked at. This is where I feel torn. Do I go to my Dr., who more than likely won't do much other than feel it and make it hurt and give me meds that I'm probably already taking? Do I go to my Chiropractor to have him feel it, make it hurt and move it to ease the pain and not be able to use it for a while, which means arm day will be cut? Or do I just deal with the pain and ice it on my own and keep up on the Naproxen?
Tonight I had my mom watch the Extreme Weight Loss season finale I recorded. I haven't deleted it yet and there's a very good chance I won't, because when I start feeling down or discouraged, it's Bob's story that encourages me the most. He said five words that slammed into my head and heart when I heard him say it. "I won't let obesity win!" And I've made that same commitment. I don't have Chris Powell to help me in person, but I have my trainer and I have Team Jen; which includes my Dr. and Chiropractor, and I know I can do this. Terry asked me tonight what I want with losing weight. I told him I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, I want to shop for cute clothes in normal stores, I want to be able to do things I've never been able to do because of my weight and fears. I've been overweight for the majority of my life. For what life I have left, I want to be happy. I want to pay this forward as well. I want to help people, inspire people, motivate people. I have a few friends who have joined a gym or started back at exercise/hiking because of my positive statuses on Facebook and here in my blog. My Aunt and Uncle just joined a gym and she wants me to come be her guest so I can show her what to do on the machines for her arms. My knowledge of that has come from my trainer. I'm excited to go with her and help her so she can get the best out of her time at the gym. By no means am I trainer, but if I'm able to help someone get started and stay motivated, I'm all for it! Every day I'm at the gym, I sit at a few machines that face mirrors, which I hate, but I'm getting use to, and sometimes I'm able to look at myself when I'm done w/ a machine, or resting between sets. Sometimes I get that negative look as I look over my body. And other times I see the fighter I am. I look at myself and I dare myself to change. I get back on the machine and punch out my next set. I am NOT a quitter and I WILL reach my goals.
If you find my blog and you've been wanting to lose weight, even just 10 lbs or 100 lbs, realize that NO ONE but YOU can make that happen. No one is going to hold your hand and spoon feed you. You need to be serious about it and take the bull by the horns and make it mind. You have the power to be who you want to be. Your life is a book...make it a best seller and always remember...
aww look at that pic of you :)
ReplyDeletei hope the wrist thing gets better. i dont know how your doc is but mine is the kind of doc that says if it hurts stop doing it (like when i was having knee pain when i was younger) but actually for me the moer active i am the less my knees hurt. so i dont take her advice (she also advised me to take the Alli drug-the one that is over the counter) and i dont think that is on my plan. then again she is a thin woman (in her mid 50's) im sure she is just trying to give me good advice, but knows nothing about having to lose weight.
I'm seeing my Dr. today (Tuesday) at 3:30. I think I'm going to write a blog on all the "diets" out there and my take on them. I hope to open some eyes and maybe encourage them to make a LIFE change, not a MOMENT change! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a faithful reader and note leaver! :) I appreciate it SO much!
Hi Jen,
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog because of a Google Search I did involving "pain" and "Lifetouch Preschool" I hope you are still active writing on here.
I photographed with Lifetouch Preschool for a total of 6 years. Long story short, I now have many issues with my body because of them. I realized that I had photographed over 30,000 children in those 6 years and that my body was lkiterally falling apart.
I also realized that Lifeouch Preschool has no concept of ergonomics and due to that is why all of us who have worked with any amount of time have so many body issues.
My pain started about 2 years in with hand pain, wrist pain, and knees, same as I read on your blog here.
I have so much more that I would like to say, but your wrist pain is from having gripped a 3.5lb camera for them using a pinch grip, and you used your ligaments that are attached to your thumb and middle finger and extends into your elbow since all of our ligaments attach to our hands that way.
One of my coworkers started working there when she was young, and 7 years in she suffers with lower back pain, which is suspected to be a herniated disc from having crawled on the floor, and recently has had significant damage to her right knee. She had to have her right wrist drained from fluid build up due to her holding their cameras for years.
I hope you have recovered more since this post, and was very glad to see that you don't work for them anymore.
I am trying to get my story out as much as I can, since my whole body was damaged with repetitive strain injuries with them and I had no idea what was happening until it was too late.
Hi Jen,
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog because of a Google Search I did involving "pain" and "Lifetouch Preschool" I hope you are still active writing on here.
I photographed with Lifetouch Preschool for a total of 6 years. Long story short, I now have many issues with my body because of them. I realized that I had photographed over 30,000 children in those 6 years and that my body was lkiterally falling apart.
I also realized that Lifeouch Preschool has no concept of ergonomics and due to that is why all of us who have worked with any amount of time have so many body issues.
My pain started about 2 years in with hand pain, wrist pain, and knees, same as I read on your blog here.
I have so much more that I would like to say, but your wrist pain is from having gripped a 3.5lb camera for them using a pinch grip, and you used your ligaments that are attached to your thumb and middle finger and extends into your elbow since all of our ligaments attach to our hands that way.
One of my coworkers started working there when she was young, and 7 years in she suffers with lower back pain, which is suspected to be a herniated disc from having crawled on the floor, and recently has had significant damage to her right knee. She had to have her right wrist drained from fluid build up due to her holding their cameras for years.
I hope you have recovered more since this post, and was very glad to see that you don't work for them anymore.
I am trying to get my story out as much as I can, since my whole body was damaged with repetitive strain injuries with them and I had no idea what was happening until it was too late.