When I was about eight years old, I received my first cabbage patch kid. Long red hair, red checkered outfit and white shoes and socks. I remember looking at her scalp and seeing it was red, thinking how funny that was. At the age of ten, I received my first preemie cabbage patch kid. That year my birthday was on Easter. I remember I named her Connie; after my favorite 3rd grade teacher. I'm not sure of the age that I got my splash and play cabbage patch kid. All together, I had like 8. One was a pony and one was a cat. I still have the pony and all the dolls. But when I got my splash and play kid, everything changed in my make believe world. I could give her real baths because she had a hard body that could get wet. I named her my favorite one of all; Abigail. That is the name I wanted to name my daughter when the time would come.
As I grew older, life got harder to live and as I looked toward the future, I knew having children wasn't going to be my dream come true. At age 12, I started baby sitting. From then until I was 30, I took care of children. Some of them I keep in touch with and I love that I do. Others were too young and wouldn't remember me.
I never feared I would get pregnant. I never used anything to make me not. I just knew that with the depression I lived in for so long and being alone for even longer, I would leave this life never knowing how it feels to hold a brand new baby I gave birth to.
Working with children for so long, I had taken many classes that taught me a lot about the problems you could have giving birth at later ages; particularly over the age of 35. So, I gave myself to 35. I am now 40.
I know some will say, "You have Daisy." Yes, yes I do. And I love her, I do. There's just a big difference between a dog and a human life. Everyone always told me I'd make a great mom. I would have loved to believed them, but neither of us will ever know for sure...
Jen
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Sunday, May 1, 2016
A great time had by all
Saturday started out nicely as we were able to sleep in a bit. My mom called and woke us up at 10. So we got up and ate some breakfast. Around 1:00, we headed over to my parents house. My brother and his wife are here visiting from Idaho. It's so great seeing them! It feels like forever since I last saw them. We hooked Daisy outside when we got there so she could enjoy the sun. My nephew was there washing my parents' vehicles. He does great work. My niece and the little girl she takes care of came over next. That was a lot of fun! The little one she watches is 1 1/2 years old. SO cute!! My other brother and his girlfriend came over and then my oldest niece and her boyfriend came over. That was the best time I've had in a very long time in a family setting! Amazing when you take away and add, how right that makes things! A lot of laughter and that was helpful! We left at around 9:00.
I think Daisy has learned she has her own home and Grandma and Grandpa's is just a place to visit now. But when my mom comes for lunch during the week, I'll open the door and Daisy gets SOOOO excited!!! She piddles as she jumps in pure excitement! So when we're at their house for a while, we'll look at her and ask her if she's ready to go. Her ears will perk up and she'll run to the door. It's cute!
This morning we left her at home, alone for the first time since she ripped up the carpet. I put up the garbage cans in the bathroom and bedroom up and left the doors open. I prayed for her and we prayed for her at church. We went to Walmart and by my parent's after church. We got home around 2:00. I opened the door gently and walked in slowly. I did a walk through and found the place just as we left it. I gave her a new treat we got her. We are so proud of her! So I unloaded everything and put things away and then found our baseball game on TV. The Giants were playing the last game in their three game series with the NY Mets. WE WON! I took a nap after that was over. I woke when my mom called me at 7:50 PM.
This new medication I'm on, my doctor said it is a weight loss pill as well. I can see why. You don't have a want for anything. I had cereal for dinner. Yep, that's pretty normal.
So yeah, Saturday was one of my favorite days! I got to spend it with my husband and my wonderful family! I know it can't happen all the time, but when it does, I cherish it.
Have a great Monday!
Jen
I think Daisy has learned she has her own home and Grandma and Grandpa's is just a place to visit now. But when my mom comes for lunch during the week, I'll open the door and Daisy gets SOOOO excited!!! She piddles as she jumps in pure excitement! So when we're at their house for a while, we'll look at her and ask her if she's ready to go. Her ears will perk up and she'll run to the door. It's cute!
This morning we left her at home, alone for the first time since she ripped up the carpet. I put up the garbage cans in the bathroom and bedroom up and left the doors open. I prayed for her and we prayed for her at church. We went to Walmart and by my parent's after church. We got home around 2:00. I opened the door gently and walked in slowly. I did a walk through and found the place just as we left it. I gave her a new treat we got her. We are so proud of her! So I unloaded everything and put things away and then found our baseball game on TV. The Giants were playing the last game in their three game series with the NY Mets. WE WON! I took a nap after that was over. I woke when my mom called me at 7:50 PM.
This new medication I'm on, my doctor said it is a weight loss pill as well. I can see why. You don't have a want for anything. I had cereal for dinner. Yep, that's pretty normal.
So yeah, Saturday was one of my favorite days! I got to spend it with my husband and my wonderful family! I know it can't happen all the time, but when it does, I cherish it.
Have a great Monday!
Jen
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