Determination and Worth

July 1st I decided my life was ready to start a new journey! A journey to find who I am under all this fat. 

I won't lie and tell you it's easy. Heck no!! When you've been overweight all your life and all the sudden you decide to get up and go exercise...your body tries to tell you it didn't get the memo. I wasn't brutal to my body. I started slow. After a week or so of doing one thing, I would think of different things to do to target certain parts of my body. By the end of July I was going every morning for an hour. I made a CD of different songs that were fast tempo so it would push me to go faster. I knew I was building up muscle and I knew I was losing weight. I lost 15 lbs in July. 

When August started, I was still swimming and still eating as I did in July. I knew it would be a bit more rough with camping coming up so I did all I could before we headed out. And again, I won't lie and tell you it was easy while camping. NO NO NO!!! I was faced with more temptations than ever before. Raspberry filled donuts, Old Fashioned Glazed donuts, mini candy bars sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME on the picnic table. My hands wanted to grab one SO badly. That's when I got up and went to get me a sugar free Jell-O pudding. Sixty calories instead of 40 calories in ONE mini candy bar.

From August to today, the 26th, I've lost another 15. Making the total 30 pounds lost. 

Temptations will ALWAYS be around you. If they aren't, something isn't right! But if they are, you have what it takes to say NO! You have what it takes to say, "I'm worth getting healthy!" YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!! You can fight every single temptation and if they're getting to strong, walk away from it or...read the nutritional facts. That's what helped me get my pudding instead of the mini candy bar. Last night I went to Subway for dinner. While checking out, my mom looked at one of the gluten free brownies. I asked how many calories it had. I want to say 320. My jaw dropped...
Just remember...YOU are in control of what your body looks like! Hard to hear, but it's the truth and I face it every single day. I may be down 30 pounds, but I have MANY more to lose. Sometimes it's a very hard truth to accept, but I have no choice. I'm the one who has to see me, to dress myself, to shower....I see it, but I'm finding that I'm seeing the changes more than I'm seeing what I still have to lose. I think that's important to see your progress. Trust me...I feel a lot more changes than my body shows, but I'm feeling them. 

Just like a baby learning to walk...they have to take the FIRST step. And before you know it, they're off and running with their new found freedom. That's how we need to look at the journey we're each on. I didn't just run to the pool and jump in. I took the first step outside of my house and proceeded to the pool. Walking into the gym...I opened the door and stepped in; my first step to working even harder to find Jen. Pound by pound she's being revealed! 

I'm almost done with my 5th week at the gym. Let me tell you...there have been days I have wanted to stay covered up in my warm bed and just sleep. Just forget the world out there and let it go on without me for a day! The minute that thought comes to mind, it's shoved aside by the GET OUT OF BED NOW drill! I throw back the covers and get out of bed. Once my feet hit the floor, I don't get back into bed until my meds have taken over and it's time to sleep all night. I have taken a few naps though! I take Daisy outside and then I get my breakfast. I watch some TV or come onto Facebook while I eat. Once I'm done, I get dressed and gather my stuff that I take with me and head out. Once I get to the gym, I walk in like I belong there. Oh wait, I do! haha. I sign in, hang my keys up and get to work. 

Realizing you're worth getting healthy...that can be a HUGE obstacle. It's been the biggest one I've had to overcome and it's working! It also helps that I have such a HUGE support team behind me who are SO encouraging, supportive, loving, and just freakin' awesome! It's important to have those kind of friends on your side. There have been some rough days and I wanted to fall down and quit. My friends have helped push me back up to remind me I'm WORTH it! If you don't have friends like that, PLEASE let me be that friend for you! I have wonderful friends who have taken that first step and are making a positive change in their lives to be healthy and fit. They text me, send me private messages on Facebook. They can even call me if they need to. I am NOT one to judge. How can I judge you when I'm walking in your shoes? That's impossible. At least for me. I'm here to help in ANY way I can. 

Sometimes you just need that hand to hold to help you take your first step toward finding who you want to be! YOU CAN DO IT!!! And MOST importantly...YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!