On June 6th, I was introduced on Facebook to a friend of a friend. His name, Terry. That evening, I signed onto Facebook and I had a friend request from him. I accepted right away and headed over to his page to say Hi! He wrote back and said Hi! We started private messaging on FB and as each day passed, our feelings grew. Our form of communication grew as well. We have yet to actually touch, but we have met "face to face" via videos sent back and forth. Prior to that, we talked back and forth on the FB chat on our phones. A wonderful friendship was being formed!
Prior to meeting Terry, I was a step away from giving up on the dream of ever finding the man who was made just for me. I'd gone through a few and I just figured I was destined to be alone. Even though my Bible has told me differently for as long as I can remember. I had also given up on being a mommy. That was a dream from the early age of eight. I gave myself to 35. I know the risks for problems are much higher in the later thirties and I refused to put an innocent life through that. That dream is truly laid to rest. But the dream to be married and happy was fading. Terry, I learned, was at the same spot in his life. I guess you could say we saved each other, but he truly is the best man who has ever loved me.
A few weeks into our relationship, I asked him, "If I wanted to lose weight, would you support me?" He was more than happy to do it. I told him I didn't want judgement, I didn't want being put down or be made to feel like I failed majorly if I didn't work out one day or ate something I shouldn't. He was more than anything I ever dreamed possible. He has NEVER put me down, he has ALWAYS built me up. Nine times out of ten, I'm the one putting myself down and he's the one helping me see that I didn't fail. When I question if he'll love me if I end up not reaching my goal and he says no matter what he'll love me, that amazes me. He's seen me, he knows my size. Soon he will know my weight. But nothing has made him run, nothing has made him lost interest. I haven't found Mr. Right, I found my soul mate. Never has this been a "me" thing. When I ask him questions or I start to doubt my abilities, he never says you'll get through this...he says WE'LL get through it. He's my team mate, my side arm. He's my supporter. He encourages me, never discourages me. He's always there to share in my excitement of what I did at the pool, or at the gym. He tells me he's proud of me.
Am I doing this for him? Am I changing my life just for him?
NO!
I'm doing this for ME because it's MY body and I have to LIVE in MY body for the REST of my LIFE. Does it help that I have such a HUGE support system in him, yes. Of course. But he isn't the one that puts the food in my mouth, he isn't the one that walks me into the gym. I am the one who refuses to eat a dessert that I know is full of calories that I just worked off. I'm the one who decides to walk into the gym and start changing my life. Do I look forward to the day he can walk in with me and join me? You bet your booty I do!!! Not only do I get to enjoy the benefits of my journey, he does as well! And I love that! But it's me...I'm doing this for me.
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